Do I do what I want to do for New Year or what the dc want to do?

[whatnow2]

I know this is not a big problem but would like some opinions on this .

The context is that every year my Dad and sister are with us for Christmas, and we then go to h's family for New Year. He normally ends up staying with his Mum while dc and I go to his sister's house and stay up till midnight (his family live about 2 hours away from us). Last year h did come to his sister's as well but looked annoyed the whole night so that wasn't great.

This year my Aunt has invited us to a get together at hers on the 1st. She also lives 2 hours away from us but in the other direction. I really want to go to this but knew that h would not come and that 2 out of 3 of the dc want to go to his family for the usual get together (we have not been invited to anything but it is usually all unspoken). So the plan (or my plan anyway ) was that I would go to my Aunt's with my youngest dd (8 years old), and I was hoping that h would take the other two dc (10 and 13) to his Mum's.

H has now gone away to work on a rental property in a town about 4 hours away and was due to come back today or tomorrow when I was hoping I could put my plan into effect. He now says that he realises there is loads to do there and is going to stay until after the new year.

So (and I realise this is a non problem), elder 2 dc are now annoyed that they will have to go to my Aunt's with me. Would you not go to your Aunt's (as youngest dd is not really bothered either way) if you were to the only one who wanted to go there? I was really looking forward to it and to be honest do not want to go to h's family without him there (though I have done this before). Their way of being is really different to my family's and I never feel particularly wanted or liked there (though the kids love being with all their cousins) whereas I find my Aunt really welcoming and feel excited about being there. My cousins and there children will also be there, but my dc are much closer to their 1st cousins on h's side as they know them much better (and are more closely related).

Thanks if you have read this far!

Would definitely personally prefer to ring in the new with my Aunt but ds has been telling me it's not all about me

And did you ask him why it's about him then? Why isn't about your Aunt? Your cousins? Their kids? Why can't he think about these people who don't normally get a chance to see you and them and how much they'd enjoy seeing you all.

Why, for the first time in a long time, is it NOT allowed to be about you? How does driving them to their friends house benefit you? It doesn't. How does driving them to sports benefit you? It doesn't. Why can't they support you for once in something that you want to do?

They can see H's side another time when he's actually around to take them. In the meantime, you're excited for YOUR New Years for the first time in a few years. They'll deal with it :)

Hi all

Just wanted to say that we did go to my Aunt's for her get together on the 1st (where we still are in fact because we stayed the night) and it was great. My dc seemed to enjoy it too and did that bonding thing with my cousins' dc where they (after they had eaten) all disappeared outside and then upstairs (while the adults chatted to each other occasionally dipping into gorging themselves on the lovely food) so that was good.

It has been a lovely way (also my Aunt lives in the countryside which is a real antidote to London) to start the new year so thanks for the encouragement.

Off to see "Paddington" with one cousin's children today (and cinema a fraction of what it would cost in London ) before we go back home.

Happy New Year .

Hurrah! Well done whatnow and happy new year too

Happy New Year! Glad you had such a nice time.

Excellent update! I'm glad you all had so much fun!! :)