A close friend of mine is in a terrible relationship. She is treated like dirt by her 'D'H - basically he is emotionally, verbally and sexually abusive to her. However, he is generally very charming with friends and neighbours so very few people know about this, although other family members who know the DH well are aware that he can be a grumpy sod.
She has started confiding in me more and I have been deeply upset at what I've heard. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to be with him any more but has no self-confidence left, is scared of potentially having to move away from friends, and worries that he would screw her over financially. She is also over 70 now and thinks she is too old to start again, although she is a lovely lady with lots of friends, supportive grown up children, fit and healthy etc.
Obviously I think she should LTB but am also wary of sticking my oar in where it's not wanted. Is there anything I can do to give her the boost to help her leave without putting pressure on her?
He does profess to love her and, in a weird sort of way, does seem to but I think he's too fucked up himself to realise what a shit he's being. Is there any hope that he could change if it's pointed out forcefully enough just exactly how unkind and unpleasant he is being?
If she doesn't leave him and he doesn't change (realistically the most likely outcome), how can I best support her? He would hit the roof if he knew she'd been talking about their relationship to anyone.