New beginnings?

[Lucy4711]

After 23 years of marriage, my husband has decided he's fed up of 'subsidising' me. He earns a lot more than I do, and he's decided if I want to live in the manner to which I have become accustomed, I have to earn more money. I'm in my mid fifties, and work as an administrator. My earning potential is severely limited. He has made me feel like a parasite. I work 25 hours per week, but I also do EVERYTHING else. He wants for nothing, and doesn't lift a finger around the house. I make sure he has the whole of his weekend as 'free time' for him to do as he wishes. He has succeeded in making me feel like a live in cleaner/housekeeper. I think we're at a crossroads. I can't compete with his earnings, and feel this is mean of him to make me feel like a sponge. I had no idea he resented me so much for not having the same earning power as him. Suddenly, I'm beginning to question if we have a future together. Has anyone else encountered this 'unbalanced income' dilemma?

Financial abuse is just that abuse, he is making you feel like a servant in your own home, jumping when he is around to make sure he doesn't start on you... this is abuse mentally too simple as.
My DH earns in a week what I earn in 6 months, my money is mine and his is ours technically, I could earn very,very much more but I wouldn't be home as much as I'd like.
OP please get some advice just to cover yourself and have a little read up on financial abuse, maybe try and speak to him (if safe to do so) about how he makes you feel.

I hope that things work out the way you want and you can be happy and carefree.

Tutt: I'd never even heard of the term 'financial abuse' before. Is this what it is? I would have no objection to working full time, but this still wouldn't bring me anywhere near to what he contributes (financially). Previously, when we both worked full time, our weekends were spent doing housework, laundry, gardening etc. Now, the only thing he does at the weekend is wash the cars. We have a lot more time to go to the beach with the dogs, eat out and generally enjoy our spare time. Now, I feel he doesn't actually appreciate that his spare time is exactly that.

financial, often intertwined with emotional, is a well recognised form of abuse

DH and I have both been the main breadwinners at various points in our relationship.

We've never understood why some couples accept the valuation that an employer places on our time? We see ourselves as equal in our partnership.

The bills get paid and disposable income gets equally divided and go into our separate personal accounts so we don't need to bean count.

Anything else is not equal and is not fair.