So ex and I have a DS who is 3. He had him for the day yesterday. Picked him up in the morning all happy and asked how I was etc.
To give some background: We're currently working towards Ds staying with him overnight. DS is really anxious and upset about the idea so it's obviously a concern and isn't happening as fast as ex would like.
Because he wasn't having him overnight I suggested him getting him early and getting him ready for bed and bringing him home at 8. I said just keep talking about when he does have a sleepover there, and getting him all ready for bed would get him used to the idea. He said good idea.
When he finally brought him home, he had a face like thunder, had a real go at me for being a crap mum who drags his son out in a car after 8pm when he could have slept at his. DS asked for the sweets he'd brought home with him and I said no it's bedtime, you can have those tomorrow. Ex then said I was horrible and should let him have them now. He then called me some names, told me I was ugly and he'd see me in court.
He forgot to bring his coat back so I had to contact him this morning to ask for it - he phoned me back and he's at work all day so I can't have it. I asked if I could collect it from the house, and he laughed and said best you don't, as his girlfriend would 'smash you up'. He then said if I was a bloke he would come round and smash me up.
Every time I try to have a grown up conversation about contact etc, it just ends in him insulting me, telling me I'm crazy/mental, lying about past events, and telling me he never loved me and no one else ever will etc.
It's so tiring and draining and I'm so careful never to say anything nasty back. He says he'll make sure DS hates me when he's older, that he's going for 50/50 contact. I'm going to have years of this, and I'm so worried that what he's like will rub off on DS who at the moment is such a kind loving little boy.