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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Such a lonely time of year

13 replies

KindleKind · 26/12/2014 18:53

This is my first Christmas as a single person in 20+ years. I underestimated how lonely it would be. I'm sitting on my hands desperate not to give in and call my ex. I just want to talk to someone who gives a shit about me. I saw family yesterday and I have dd with me today, but it's not the same.

Anyone else having a similarly lonely time?

OP posts:
Allalonenow · 26/12/2014 19:03

I'm on my own today and was yesterday also. It is lonely, especially when memories of earlier happier Christmas times surface.

I've kept busy with books, iPlayer and I've got a DVD to watch later.
What age is your DD? If she's old enough, play a game or sing along to a movie with her, or paint each others nails maybe?

Take care Thanks

KindleKind · 26/12/2014 19:12

Yeah, we're watching films together and keeping occupied, but it's not quite the same as having someone you love passionately. Even if you don't see them on the day you know they are waiting for you.

Sorry to hear you're on your own. You're right about memories. I wonder if it will get easier next year.

Thanks for the Flowers, have some for yourself Flowers Smile

OP posts:
elsabelle · 26/12/2014 19:13

Sending love and hugs to you OP. Im alone, drunk in the bath, smoking, drinking wine, scoffing ferrero roche and singing along loudly to taylor swift! Wink

My ex Fiance left me a few months ago and both my parents are dead, so its just me (although did see my stepdad yest). ExF did text yesterday actually but i managed to resist replying, just deleted and ignored. Dont reach out to him if you can manage not to, it may well make you feel worse rather than better.

Look after yourself. Self-love is the best thing at these difficult times i think.

xxxx

KindleKind · 26/12/2014 19:24

I'm sorry to hear of your situation Elsabelle. I might have a glass or two of wine to help me relax soon.

I'm not going to call, you're right, it would make me feel worse. It hurts so fucking much though. I feel so alone and empty. I suppose work and the busyness of life numbs me a little usually, but not today.

Take care. xxx

OP posts:
Cabs1 · 26/12/2014 21:02

I'm in bed but can't sleep. DH left me 4 months ago and has taken the DCs to his Mum's for the weekend so for the first time in ages I am home alone. It's horrible. Can't get the energy to do anything even though the house is a tip after Christmas. At least there is mumsnet.

Namaste100 · 26/12/2014 21:15

Snap..It feels like longest day ever...Iv been on and off MN all day.. I feel so alone today...had fab time with wife n kids yesterday..was meant to see kids earlier but wife didn't want me to come over as it got late...I feel shit tonite..was invited out to pals family party...just didn't feel like it ..also got sore red eyes from sobbing!!!my other threads explain the self inflicted wounds..but I'm not a robot.. I have feelings also Hmm

KindleKind · 26/12/2014 22:47

Sorry to hear from those of you in the same boat.

OP posts:
Spero · 26/12/2014 22:50

It does get better. It isn't quick, I won't lie, but it does get better.

KindleKind · 26/12/2014 23:12

Thanks.

I've just spent an hour or so filling out an online dating form.

OP posts:
Spero · 26/12/2014 23:42

Not so sure that on line dating is the best thing when you are feeling fragile and lonely. Personally, I would wait until the major shock and grief had worn off a little... but if you feel strong enough, go for it.

KindleKind · 26/12/2014 23:56

It's been 6 months. I have to move on at some point. I know what you mean though.

OP posts:
Spero · 26/12/2014 23:58

Six months is nothing, absolutely nothing when you are faced with this kind of grief and loss.

took me two years to feel normal again and five before I was 'over it'. Don't run before you can walk.

KindleKind · 27/12/2014 08:47

Good to know, thanks.

OP posts:
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