Hello Vipers, i need your advice. This is what I need to tell my DH (sorry it's long) I have to find the strength to do this, I should have done it years ago.
I feel so sad, but I have put this off because I'm afraid of his reaction (he can be volatile). I think he can tell something is wrong & he'll ask me soon. I owe him more than a letter but this is what I want to say. I need to do this but I don't know how.
Dear **
Iâ??m feeling teary before I even start writing this to you & I am writing a letter because I donâ??t you to lose your temper, get angry and say hurtful things. I realise that once Iâ??ve said this everything will change.
I love you, you are the person I spend most time with, you are Dad & weâ??ve been together 18 years. I am not in love with you anymore â?? this breaks my heart as I always thought we would be together forever and I wanted to stay together as a family for * But this year has made me assess everything. Iâ??m not happy, this isnâ??t anyoneâ??s fault â?? and I donâ??t think you are very happy either & you deserve to be happy.
You are a great Dad to * and you always will be. We are friends and we can remain so, always. I donâ??t want anger or any storming out, I am sad not angry. But I want to separate.
I never thought I would be the one to do this and it scares the life out of me. Itâ??s not something I have just decided, you know we donâ??t have the perfect marriage & I think we should do what is best for all of us.
I want to talk to you about this. I will cry and I donâ??t want you to be angry at that, I want an honest discussion with casting blame or being mean. If you want to talk this through with Relate or counsellor then we can. But I would like to think we can sort it ourselves.
I feel so sad & the thought of telling * breaks my heart, maybe Iâ??m being selfish, but I donâ??t see another way.