Bit of backstory...
I'm 28, met 'D'P at 21, absolutely fantastic relationship, fell pg just under a year into relationship. All changed.
I was working full time up to 9 months pg, he was off work for a few months (subcontractor with no new jobs coming up) so I was stressed out about that. I put money aside every month, he did fuck all.
He started treating me like shit, fine mon to thurs, but as soon as it hit the weekend he would arrange to meet me after work (didn't live together then), call and say he was just having a few with his mates, can he come an hr later, when 2 hrs had past and I called to find out where he was, he would make me sound like a possesive freak, (shouting down phone that he told me he was going out with friends etc when he clearly had arranged to see me), rinse and repeat.
Should have left then, but I was scared. I did offer him the chance to walk away if he wanted to, but he said no he loved me et .
so DS born, we lived at my mums for a year, before getting our own place. same things continuing re going out, kept having strops when we argued, would always fuck off to his mums for a few days when we rowed. (Which always seemed to happen on the weekend. Put up with it for 2 years, then became pg again. He told me he didn't want baby, told me to get an abortion.
I said no, if he didn't want the baby, he could go. He didn't go. was so fed up of crying constantly, so after he went on a strop to his mums, I told him that was the last time. The next time he left that would be it.
So he did it again, a few weeks later, so I refused to let him back, bagged up his clothes, made him give back key.
so now he is absolutely resolute to get me back on the weekdays. constant texting and calling mon-thurs, then nothing for the weekend. Found out he was texting some girl he met while out, would say that didnt matter because we are not together, but then profess his love for me and the by then 2 kids.
It was relentless mon-thurs but fuck all at the weekend.
He said the reason we used to argue was because I was too messy, lazy etc. and that he hated our flat, please coukd we give it a another go, move to a new house fresh start etc.
Don't know why I did it. But I did.
So we moved, that was 3 years ago. for the 1st year it pretty much went back, but then after the last two years it has slowly changed.
He did stop going out so much, stopped spending so much time with the idiot friends whose thoughts and opinuins he had always valued more than mine.
But by now I had changed too. No longer the clingy gf, calling him constantly, and crying down the phone, I started turning cold. Never called him if he went out, never asked to do anything as a family, never asked him to do anything, was fed up with all previous rejections.
We had always had an amazing sex life, not as great after 1st baby, but after getting back together after 2nd baby it was horrendous. He would constantly complain about sex, every fucking day. Apparently our lack of sex was the cause of all our realtionship problems. When we did have sex, if I tried to snuggle he would push me off, saying he was too hot.He would complain that I was like a dead person and boring in bed. So basically complaing before during and after.
So fast forward to today. I hate having sex with him, every fucking day he will bring it up, telling me he feels rejected and that I dont love him. keeps threatening to leave if it doesnt change.
after a while i tried having sex more often to shut him up, just made him want it more.
He complains on the phone to his friends in front of ne that he hasnt had sex for months.
when I point out we had sex last week he tells me it was only a quickie so doesnt count.
Complains when we do have sex that I put him off because I act bored.
will only be nice to me when trying to get sex, then will get frustrated, shout about imaginary slights, or ignore me.
even if we have not argued, if i talk about chit chat, he will stare at tv and ignore me. I hate having sex, I hate talking about sx, I hate everything to do with sex. I hate him,
I have told him so many times that Im not happy and he should go. whenever he threatens to leave unless I 'sort it out' i always tell him to go. But he never does.
We had to move house a few months ago, due to problems with going back to work after 1st baby im SAHM now.
Our rent is peactically double now in new house, I cannot financially support my self, signed 1 year contract 6 weeks ago.
I can't afford for him to leave now.
I hate him, and I hate myself for allowing this to happen. Should have been stronger before.
sorry for bring so long winded, and so manyt mistakes, on my shit phone.
just sitting here crying writing thia, i hate it all