relationship

[AndreaKaren123]

I have been with my partner for nearly 18 months..... In April this year I found out that he had been on dating sites. Texting other woman. I found some conversations on his lap top even on his phone. I admit I was snooping. But I had a gut feeling. Up to this point I was so much in love with him. He gave me a future .....
When I asked him about it he said his laptop had been hacked etc etc.
From time to time I found more messages on his phone. .. I have to say it all hit me like a freight train.
His behaviour changed towards me . Very noticeable to me... but not to him. He still claims even as far as last night to be the same person towards me ...
I will put my hands up and say I couldn't let thus drop. ....it took over my thoughts every thing .... every time he got his phone out ...
Any way moving on from there ... For the past 4 months or so I have been talking about getting our relationship back on track....
He does not chat to me
Show me any affection
Sends me 1 text after I have sent him 1.
Stays up in lounge till 11 o clock plus watching boxing or foot ball. But also chatting with friends.
Does not make love to me ....
Has not come shopping with me ... in fact we don't go out together any more. If he goes to see his sons he goes without me. He stays at his friends house over night. There is a parts of his life I am included in .
I am crying all the time. My hair is falling out heart broken

What do you want out of this thread?

Better to be alone than with a selfish prick whose destroying your life.

You are already alone OP.

Very true

You sound so sad and broken. Has he noticed this? Doubt it.

This man is either incapable of acting otherwise and being committed and loving, or worse still is cruel and nasty and gets his kicks out of watching you fall apart.

Please consider ending this farce of a relationship, you could be so much happier.

What future did you think he gave you (your words)?

Making my house a home. Going out and doing things . Going on holiday . Now he can't even look at me when he speaks

Christmas day was good. But Christmas eve and boxing day. Back to normal !!!!

You don't need someone to do any of those things OP.
You can do all of those things on your own, for now.
In time you may have someone else who will do all of those things with you and the other things that are clearly missing like talking.
But if he is not going to even chat or show you any affection then you have nothing.
Can I ask, how young are you?

You don't want to be alone? You are practically alone even when you are supposed to be with him and this relationship is making you ill.
If you continue to allow him to treat you like this then he will. If you want things to change then only you can make things change.
It's seems pretty obvious that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore and you are probably cramping his style now so he can't just do whatever he pleases.
Start to ease him out of your heart and your life as you really have no future together.

And what parts of his life are you included in and how?

Does he love you? what do you think?
Does he like you?
Does he want to have a future with you?
Is he acting like a man who wants a future with you?

No talking and no affection after only 18 months seems to suggest that he was only ever after a place to stay and a hot meal.

If a relationship hits a patch like this after a few happy years then you have something to look back on and motivation to work things out. If its like this now, it won't get better.

Your house will feel like more of a home if there isn't a large lump of misery sat in it making you feel sad and lonely. You can make new friends who don't impose on you and make you miserable, go shopping on your own for things you love without having to worry about pleasing anyone else, and if you can't face going on holiday on your own (choosing your destination, the perfect hotel room, activities you love), you can find a group trip to join.

This man is bringing nothing to your life that you can't provide for yourself, and the fear that you might find it difficult to be alone is no reason to stay in a relationship that you know makes you miserable.

Deserttrek Hello I am 52 tears old.

Update.
Thank you for all your comments. Means a lot to me.... so today before he goes to work. .... I ask him about us. ...... He says what us. He said he will continue to talk to his friends at 2 in the morning etc or when ever he likes. ...do what he wants to do and to not feel he is being suffocated. ....