I'm not really sure what I'm asking here, just looking for some female opinions, I suppose.
My DW and I are mid-30s and have been married for a little over 10 years with 3 DC - 8, 6 and 3. I'd say she has always been a slightly larger lady - she was a size 14/16 when we met. I've always fancied her and love her just the way she is.
But I know she hasn't been happy recently with her weight. The toll of having 3 difficult pregnancies and then being a SAHM since our eldest was born has knocked her self-esteem and she's put quite a lot of weight on - she's now a size 20/22. She's thinking about getting back into the job market and retraining as our youngest will be starting full time school next year. In the meantime she has been doing some volunteering which she enjoys and some writing/blogging.
I have never, in all the time I've known her (getting on for 15 years), passed any negative comment on her weight. As I said above, I love her the way she is, her beautiful (to me) body carried our 3 lovely DC and I've certainly changed too since we first met. But I guess I'm starting to get concerned about what effect this might have on her health and also the fact that she is clearly unhappy with how she looks. She has previously talked before about doing something - regular swimming, or an exercise class, or playing a sport with a couple of girlfriends but it never really comes to anything. She even bought an exercise DVD earlier in the year, used it once and then hasn't again. She also admits that she comfort eats if she's feeling a bit down with the sheer toil and hard work of looking after 3 kids during the week.
I'm just struggling with understanding what's going on in her head. It's obviously a very sensitive subject for her and she gets very upset if I ask her about it - i.e. if you want to do the regular swimming thing just let me know and I'll make sure I'm home that evening to do the kids' bath and bed. I suspect I'm very practical about these things - if something about my appearance bothered me that much, I'd do something about it. She is clearly a different person to me, and her self-esteem issues obviously make it more difficult for her to feel that she can just "do something about it".
Any thoughts? I know this is a bit of a ramble, but if you were in that position, what would you like your DH to do or suggest?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
My DW and her weight
pompodd · 19/12/2014 11:21
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.