Should I fancy my husband after 18 years or is this normal

[Housewife10]

Putting it very simply I love my husband but I don't fancy him.

I am really missing the intimacy. Is there anyone else in this position ?

I feel my chest tighten at the thought of another 30/40 years of this, it frightens me and I feel sad and panicked at the thought.

It hasn't been an intimate relationship for a long time, we have a child, much wanted by us both, assisted pregnancy. And he is as expected a wonderful father.

My family relationships aren't very good, the thought of my marriage failing is terrifying. I would be alone. Also the longevity of my marriage, about 18 years together, is a great source of confidence for me. But I would love to have a physical connection with someone.

I do understand that every other aspect is very good and that I may find intimacy short lived and 18 years down the road with another partner may not leave me with the loving caring man my husband is.

Thanks anyone for reading this, it's been an interesting process just writing it down, even if it's a bit garbled.

[Windywenceslas]

Don't be jealous, just try to do something about it. Can you talk to your DH?

[itsbetterthanabox]

Op don't compare yourself to others. Mainly because people exaggerate their own sex lives. It's not 'cool' to admit desire fades.
It is 100% natural. No one feels butterfly's after 3 years together let alone decades. Research has been done into this. Long term relationships take work.
And of course you feel attraction to other people. Something new is always more exciting. But if you were in an LTR with someone new the same thing would happen and the desire would wane.
If you want to have more sex then put the effort in. But you both have to do so! It's not just up to you. By effort I mean to pleasure each other. How is the sex? If you spend one night a week just on you orgasming and another on him orgasming, you'll see how you can both please each other. Plan sex! It sounds silly but planning it adds to excitement and means you both make the time.
I think it's ridiculous you've been asked if you are closeted gay just because you don't crush like a teen on your male partner of years and years.