Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Found someone potentially 'special' but....

21 replies

NannyStar · 11/10/2006 20:10

There is someone who I got 'chatting' with on the bus one day. I say chatting in inverted commas as this person can't actually speak apart from 'yes' and 'no'. I don't know what is wrong with him but he cannot speak, uses sign language and can't walk properly...he uses a frame and when walking drags his feet behind him.

He is a lovely lovely lad from what I have figured by talking through simple hand gestures to him. He is not deaf as far as I can see. People look at him as if he is dumb maybe as he does make loud noises expressing himself, but AFAIK he is very intelligent and the 'conversations' we have are intellectual and interesting.

We only have got to know each other as we both use public transport loads and started bumping into each other mainly in the bus station and on buses and when 2 people see each other regularly I think it is natural they say 'hello' and possibly conversation follows on from there and this is what has happened here.

I bumped into him today and we got on the bus together. If people can get over the obvious disability and his inability to speak orally he is a very goodlooking lad and plus has, as far as I can tell by our little conversations, a fab personality.

We had a nice conversation on the bus today and when it was his stop to get off he took my hand and kissed it. I was of course flattered and don't care what people would think but I want to get to know him more but how?!?! I can't sign using sign language and he can't orally speak.

I bet your all think i'm mad for even considering asking him out or liking him but I can tell he is really special and I've never felt someone was really special in this way before.

OP posts:
CreepyCrawlyCarmenere · 11/10/2006 20:12

can he write as a form of communication?

lulumama · 11/10/2006 20:12

write it down! give him your mobile number and ask him to text you!?

CountTo10 · 11/10/2006 20:12

Have you considered learning how to sign? That might be a good way of getting to know him a little more?

buktus · 11/10/2006 20:13

take up sign language pretty quickly if you are mad about him

gothicmama · 11/10/2006 20:16

yes txt is a good idea and take it from there - you obviously are doing ok now , does he use sign language

Rhubarb · 11/10/2006 20:18

Why would we think you are mad for liking him? [Tries to put your last sentence to one side and offer useful advice]

Write him a note telling him you'd like to get to know him more and learn sign language. Language is no barrier, many people have fallen in love who don't speak the same language. Let him teach you? It would flatter him, get you both learning more about each other and you get to use a new skill.

oxocube · 11/10/2006 20:26

nannystar, what do you like about him? Sounds exciting!! Has he indicated a mutual interest? Good luck - you deserve some after your last few months

Original poster
NannyStar · 11/10/2006 20:29

text is a brill idea though I don't think he has a mobile phone. I quite certain he can read though as he shows me all his pictured forms of ID such as bus pass etc and they all have writing on. I want to take up sign language. How hard is it? I do apologise for the last sentence Rhubarb but I don't even know why I said it I suppose. I am proud to find him attractive. Does anyone know by my brief description what his disability actually is?

OP posts:
peegeeweegeeWITCH · 11/10/2006 20:47

Oh Nannystar, how exciting, and how romantic...

Can't offer any advice other than writing him a note, he can then reply. You could for instancy say you enjoy his company and want to get to know him better, and what is his preferred method of communication...i.e. should you take up signing?
I am also sure he would not be offended about you asking more about his disability.

Keep us posted, am in need of a nice romance...

CrocodileKate · 11/10/2006 20:57

Take up sign. Join a local college class.
It isn't easy but is very enjoyable and if you become friends with this person then you will get plenty of practice.

misdee · 11/10/2006 20:59

i say take up sign language.

wannaBe1974 · 11/10/2006 21:02

I would imagine if he doesn't speak then he most probably doesn't have a mobile phone, but is it possible he has access to a computer? I would write him a note and give him your email address and ask if he has msn. text chatting can be very fun/interesting and you can find out a lot about someone by talking to them on computer/msn.

With regard to sign language, have a look

here

lulumama · 11/10/2006 21:20

how utterly romantic...he kissed your hand,,,,

you are probably thinking he falls outside the parameters of what is considered the 'right' sort of man to date - but he sounds really lovely and you have obvioously conencted...so i don;t think you are mad for asking him out and certainly not for liking him!!!

he is who he is and you like him
you are who you are and he likes you

what 's the problem???

catsmother · 11/10/2006 21:38

Oh, you must write him a note ....... and let us know what happens !

Good luck !

expatinscotland · 11/10/2006 21:42

I'd write him a note.

If he's got a PC and can read and write, it's possible you may be able to have conversations this way, via MSN or some other form of 'chat'.

Original poster
NannyStar · 11/10/2006 21:45

Oh thanks so much you guys! I am going to get myself on a sign course...I suspect he may have cerebral palsy. I'm not sure if this can determine whether he is literate. I will write a note and stick it in my pocket and give it to him the next time I see him! Really, just before he got off the bus he grabbed my hand, give it a squeeze and kissed it. Are people with cerebral palsy mentally disabled or is it dependant? From a description on NHS Direct I am fairy certain he has CP.

OP posts:
Original poster
NannyStar · 11/10/2006 21:46

I am sorry if I appear at all ignorant in my questions. I don't mean to offend anyone. I am just eager to get to know this lad!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 11/10/2006 21:47

CP can cause some mental and learning challenges.

On the other hand, it's entirely possible the effects are only on a physical level.

My parents' good pals had an Australian exchange student who has moderate CP - he is unable to walk unassisted and is deaf.

But he is otherwise NT and is now happily married and has a daughter.

CountTo10 · 11/10/2006 21:50

There are various forms of cp and I think there can be a degree of learning difficulties involved but as far as I understand it is more about movement and control than mental disability.

I hope the note works out and keep us posted!!

bluejelly · 11/10/2006 21:52

I work with a man with CP. He is incredibly bright and thoughtful. He speaks quite slowly but I don't even notice it now. Good luck with your new romance

misdee · 11/10/2006 22:23

my nephew and niece have cerebal palsy and my nephew is extremely bright. he scares me with how bright he is.

send him a note, and let us know what happens.

this is so romantic.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread