The Dating Thread 84.

[MadeMan]

Well, fancy seeing you here.

[Pinklaydee1302]

Well I'm nearly 43 and TT is nearly 39. I've prob had about 40 dates in the 2 years I been single

First time is always a bit tame, he prob get more adventurous when he gets to know you

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

pink I hope so, he was so nervous he was sweating. I think he's been knocked by a past lover.
Rioux I refer to us Women who cant develop character lines. You distinguished men have it so was ;)

[Arrowminta]

Gotta, seems like you are putting too much emphasis on sex. What are you looking for? Sex and chemistry is amazing when you get it right but it has f all to do with what makes people stick around, it's just one layer.

35 isn't some cut off for dating either. I promise you :)

[TortillasAndChocolate]

If you've been on two dates with a guy, he's asked you on both, you're in regular contact, do you think it's ok for the girl to suggest meeting up again, or would you wait to be asked? On the one hand I don't want to be pushy and put him off. On the other hand I don't want him to feel like he has to do all the running...

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

ArrowMy enthphasis is not just sex but compatible sex, its not healthy for either party if one is not satisfied.
I stuck around for 6 yrs too long with exh, my exh and i had Amazing chemistry but not great sex. People stick around for many practical reasons.

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Question How important is good sex with a new partner? Am I shallow in believing its important to have a good sexual relationship.
Arrow Thinks I am too much on the sex.

[minmooch]

I'm not sure what the answer is Gotta but it seems to me that you have put pressure on to have great sex and that will determine whether you continue the relationship. Some people need to know the person a bit more to even feel comfortable having sex, let alone great sex. I find someone's intellect, humour, passions sexy but that takes time to find out all those things. I also need for someone to be attracted to me, my humour, my intellect not just about looks. But I'm not body confident so need to know that it's not just about sex.

But we are all different. What works and is important to you may not be for others.

I suppose there's the difference between just sex and sex with emotional attachment. Some need the emotional attachment to have sex, some people need sex sto then get emotional attachment.

[Docmartensanddungarees]

Tortillas Ask him!

Gotta It does seem to have become overly important. Relationships (including the sex factor) take time to develop.

[TortillasAndChocolate]

Thanks, I'm going to ask him. Will let you know how I get on.

I agree it depends on the person. I'm really nervous about dtd with someone new. I really worry about what they will think of my body, whether they'll think I'm any good and I just generally lack confidence. So for me I need to know someone a lot better to feel comfortable with them in bed. I would hate to think they would make a decision about whether or not to have a relationship with me based on the first couple of times we have sex.

I'm not sure it's a case of you're either sexually compatible or you're not - I think sometimes it can develop over a bit of time. But I have been with anyone in a couple of years, so I'm not the best judge!

[Blossomflowers]

gotta Did not sound like disaster, so do you still fancy him. Sexual chemistry is such a mystery.

Still avoiding MR Football. I have a date arranged with MR Builder but not had any contact from him, he is not very into texting but something would be nice.

[jesy]

Think my mate date,has rearranged , we were chatting earlier about local market and said that looks good he said we could meet up I'll buy u a hot dog lol

[Blossomflowers]

gotta just saw your post about age and getting dates. Hey I am 49 and could have a date virtually every night, don't worry about being over 35 Don't settle for less than you deserve

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Blossom I hated turning 30 but my mums a beautiful and fun 53, I have her looks so I shouldn't worry.

MT is still texting after dtd, he has mentioned wanting me to be his girlfriend. I have just ignored the comment, its way too soon. Only had four dates and only know a little about each other.
Should I instead suggest being exclusive.
I do fancy him, he's got a good body but wants to make it better for me. He's just over eager to be a couple now.

[Blossomflowers]

Gotta I will bloody 50 next year that is terrifying lol. The over eager thing is so off putting but also kind of sweet. I would tell him to calm down. I always ask myself whether I could see myself introducing someone to my family and friends, would I feel proud.??

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Rioux I am just trying to be careful, we both still have Pof profiles, I don't want to seem needy and start talking about being exclusive and removing profiles. I didn't have good communication in last LT relationship, ex didn't like me talking about relationship stuff and he'd get angry. I find it hard to find my voice and end up getting anxious and end up sabotaging things.
This could be my baggage, I don't even know his baggage or what the sexual anxiety is about. I think I have an idea and its the usual male worry, I made sure he knows I'm happy with it.

[Blossomflowers]

rioux Most men seem to want to exclusive after 1 date in my experience. I am kind of dating 3 people atm, not 100% sure about any off them as such early days.

[gottafindaman4yagirl]

Blossom For me its my Children, I do not want to introduce any man to my children unless I am a hundred percent sure of the man and know its a relationship that will be going somewhere. I want to make sure he gets to know me, my good and bad points. At the mo he's acting besotted, which is flattering, but I could do something he doesn't like and suddenly I'm not so perfect. Sure I read on thread that someone got drunk in front of a guy who seemed very similar to MT, and he went cold and ended relationship.

[Blossomflowers]

Gotta That I get about kids. Yes I remember someone saying about getting drunk and getting a bit obnoxious and he dropped her like a hot brick. None of us are perfect and we all do daft things. Time will tell with MT, such early days, you need to get know each other and you need time for that.
I am suspecting MR Football is going to get pissed off with me as I said I am veyr busy @ the weekend, is actually true, have lots of people staying over Xmas and house is a disgrace

[Blossomflowers]

Rioux I have learnt over this year that it is not good to put all eggs in one basket. The romantic in me still believes that the one is out there somewhere, when I find him I can stop this OLD rubbish, it is tiresome. Like finding a needle in a haystack in this rural area though.

[SuperFlyHigh]

It depends re getting dates, OLD I've found since 40 onwards it gets harder (though apparently I look 10 years younger) as maybe some men see age - but on Smooch have had no end of contact...

am actually on a coffee date on Sunday with North/South (lets call him that) who seems very nice. I texted him last night and then found out I'd sent it to the wrong number so resent to right number. I'm pleased he's suggested a coffee after just us emailing a couple of times.

Gotta wait I think I've missed it, you DTD with Major Tom? How was it?! isn't being exclusive and being a girlfriend more or less the same?