Revenge. Would you?

[whattodo1979]

A dish best served hot, cold or not at all?
Just found out boyfriend, now ex, has been cheating on me. He left his works email open on my computer and has been emailing OW, as well as me from his work account. I've a good mind to tell his boss how many personal emails he's been sending in working hours and hope they fire his sorry ass.

Yes another empowering gold post by WhatsGoingOn!

Whatsgoingon thankyou for your post it really summed up exactly how I was feeling right down to being in my pjs looking at his fb page. Pathetic I know but you have really motivated me to make to do lists and focus on other things.

Yay! I promise you'll feel better as soon as you turn your focus back onto yourself. Every time your thoughts turn to him, mentally shout STOP! And FORCE yourself to think about your own plans and goals.

I've finally bit the bullet and deleted my ex from Facebook. Felt ok.

Bloody brilliant. I'm cheering for you.

Thanks WhatsGoingOn, I thought it might come across as petty but it's what needs to be done. It's a relief in fact. I have been on somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster - quite unsettling but small steps.

Wishing all you ladies strength out there! x

Come across as petty to him, you mean? Honestly - it doesn't matter. I know it feels like what he thinks still matters but it truly doesn't. Not the tiniest little tiny bit of tiny. That's the liberating part if this situation. You can do whatever's best for YOU now and not give a damn what he thinks about it.

(But don't do revenge stuff though - THAT isn't best for you and your newly relaunched awesomeness. Revenge will only make him laugh and feel conceited that you still like him.)

It depends what it is. I used to fantasise about putting immac on an x's hair while he slept (that would have been hard). So I did something more subtle. It made me feel good. over a decade later I smile when I think about it. It was the one thing I did at the time that made me feel less like a doormat.

Oh you have to tell us what you did now!
I feel stronger today. I've spoke to my mum and told her and our chat helped although I feel a bit like I some how failed her as she would love to see me finally settled.

Well, It will sound like nothing but he dumped me with a really stupid character attack, all trumped up to make himself feel better about dumping somebody suddenly. Anyway, he lived with his brother and they had a close but competitive relationship. His brother was slightly better paid, one inch taller, slightly better looking (not much in it), slightly more successful with women! slightly more intelligent,. In so many ways they were equals because they were nearly equal, but all the slightlys added up and I knew my x lived in fear of the sum of the slightlys. I loved him for who he was though, I didn't compare him, he was the one who did that. So, a few months later (yes I was still hurting) I got a friend to write a valentine card to his brother. I know that would have caused a bit of resentment when it landed on the mat. We were careful writing it. It mentioned the recipient's charisma. Ha!

Pathetic? maybe. But it definitely made me feel better so I won't be told I shouldn't have done it. I think I turned a little corner afterwards, knowing he'd feel like the also-ran next to his brother. that was what I wanted, just for him to experience feeling worth less.

OP, you have not failed your mum! :)

Re the failing your mum thing. I once felt like that after ending a relationship. When I told my mum she laughed in my face. All your mum wants is for you to be happy. Which you wouldn't be with some cheating twat!

I did carry out some revenge on OW, I wouldnt recommend it though, the police had a quiet word with me

My sister did a stunner with her ex, long story short it was round his army camp within hours that he had the clap, he got a major league dressing down by his CO and a battery of tests that oddly enough, all came back negative. Funny that

Ha!

I love a bit of revenge :-p
Bogeyface at the time, i really struggled with the harsh reality that one human being could be so cruel to me / lie/ betray (whatwver) but if i so much as scratched his already banged up car, id have been opening myself up to danger of getting in trouble with the police. It seemed incomprehensible to me in the state i was in .

I didnt cause any physical damage or anything like that.

I might have accidentally posted her mobile number on a hook up web site, and accidentally added the explicit photos she sent my husband. You know, purely accidentally. She was after no strings sex with married men, I was just helping her out!

Like I said, not a course of action I recommend and the police woman I spoke to was very sympathetic and said she completely understood my anger and emotions but that if I did it again I would be in deep trouble.

Wow! Glad u got away with it.

I was once thinking the best revenge would be to see DH and OW actually and really have each other as the pair truly deserve each other.

Then I realise it means my son will see OW on a regular basis, which I wouldn't like in a tiny bit (having met her and known plenty about her by the way).

So I second what is said above - best revenge is to crack on with your own life and live it beautifully.