exh on f-buddy - how do I handle this?

[bathshebaeverbusy]

how do i handle the fact that a teacher at child's school hinted to me that my exh was registered on fbuddy. I checked his profile and it is shocking ( to me, at least) ..he is after threesomes and one night stands......and is so different to the man I thought I loved and married ( for 20 years) i believe he is regularly seeing someone from this site currently. we have two children 8 and 11 ....it is a couple of years since he decided to leave. he has not told the children about his relationship. when he left he had been looking for escorts on line. he sees the children every other week with no contact apart from that. I know he can do what he likes but I'm scared children may find out and aslo I'm fed up of lying to them and pretending their dad is something he's not.

Erm, I would complain to the head about the teacher's completely inappropriate behaviour!
Why the hell would she be searching out dads of her pupils? Is she having a nervous breakdown?! Then telling other people about it? Awful!

I have to admit, the first thought that popped into my head was "How in the blazes does the teacher even know this?"

-unprofessional by the teacher to look him up
-unprofessional by the teacher to mention it to you

I'd be making a complaint to the headteacher. If there is a child protection issue, they should be addressing that. In writing. So, I would... in writing... bring it to the headteacher's attention that this particular issue has been brought to your attention by Ms. XXX (name of teacher) and request further clarification as to whether or not this was because of a child protection issue or simply because the teacher is either using the site herself and recognised him or took it upon herself to look him up and then tell you. Either way, the teacher is in the wrong.

For one, no other pupils have mentioned it.
Then, if the teacher is concerned about the child, she should talk with the father who is exposing himself, not his ex-wife.

And if he is looking for sex, then he is.
Children will tease each other for whatever reason.
If you do have to explain it to your children, at any point, then you just say that your dad is free to go out with and have sex with whoever he wants. Just as long as they are both consenting adults, it's fine.

Finally, I wouldn't say that those saying that the OP should get involved in this are talking out of their arses, but then I like to respect people's opinions and points of viewe.

I don't believe a teacher would mention this, unless you have a relationship with her that is not connected with your childs education. In which case the fact she is a teacher is irrelevant.

Either way, its not really anything to do with you. You are divorced, by all means be disgusted with him, looking for sex online is pretty sleazy I would feel the same. But the reality of the situation is its none of your business.

If it is brought to your children's attention deal with it then.

Maybe the teacher is on the site. On the swingers site we are on there are loads of male and female teachers.

Children will tease for whatever reason, but I'd rather my daughter got picked on for wearing glasses, than for her dad looking for strangers to rim him. There's stuff kids don't need to know, and I personally think things that are far more mortifying.

I'm not saying the OP can do anything. I'm just saying, I'm sympathetic to the feelings about it, being in the same situation.