Any one have an Army DH/DP?

[khakiqueen]

My DH(to be) and I are currently having to live apart, me with DD of two. We get married in Feb and then he is off to foriegn parts for 6 months. Is our marriage doomed? Will DD forget him - what to do? Any one in similar situation or advice?

YOU WILL BE FINE!

It is tough, dont get me wrong, but you need a routine and lots of support.

Will you move into a married quater and be on the patch?! This will help immensly, the support of other wives.

There is usually an army mums and tots group too - ours is 3 times a week and while the guys are away they open on a sunday too.

You need Munz - she will see this soon and help you more.

Your marriage will not be doomed, and DD wont forget him if you keep talking to her about daddy,getting her to draw pictures for him to send over etc.

HTH

Thank you so much for answering! Sadly I am in the Army as well and cant go and live with him as am studying for a year. Am living on a patch but its not my regiment so nobody being particulary friendly! The civvies at uni think its all very strange and ask me why I dont leave! Guess it would be easier if I left and then could go and live at his regiment and join in properly. Dresading him going away - its all getting a little scary. Is you DD away, going away?

My dad was in the army and went on tours for 6 months at a time. I never forgot him . My Mum talked about him and we had photo's etc, we wrote to him and he wrote back. He would bring presents when he came home which was fab

Back in those days we didn't have a phone so we couldn't talk to him much but these days that's much easier. I remember going to the Sergeant's Mess once for a video link-up so that we could speak to him and see him whilst he was on tour.

I think if you get your dd to talk to him as much as possible and keep pictures of him everywhere, then you'll be fine. She may make strange when he comes back, but not for long, 2yo's are very adaptable.

My dh is in the army and my ds is 1. My friends have older children and when their dh is away they talk lots about them, photos and send pictures etc. When dh gets home it takes a little while for them to adjust but soon enough its like they have never been away.

Also a girl I knew was in the same position and she got a compasionate posting to a unit near her dh so they could get a house on one of the patches and one of them commute a little way. Just an idea, good luck and don't stress too much XXX

yes hiya, it's taken ages - feel for u hon, on our old estate the wives weren't as friendly to women who were in teh army as those who were just the bog satandard wives - v v wrong if u ask me - you are who you are.

agree with jarm - go to tots as much as u can if u can - we got 4 mornings a week - mainly cos it gets me out the hosue with some adult conversation. and at 50p a session it's not expesive at all.

not sure about the children tbh, we didn't have any when DH went away so either jarm or MB actually - always mention her but she's along time RAF wife, I think she has a few LO's so would prob be able to help out more with that one. I know my aunty had trouble with my cousins as unlce went to iraq (or bosnia I think actually) anyhow he went when the boy was v small (about a year old) and literally he came back the the boy wouldn't go to him and screamed etc - I think the main thing is to give them time together when he goes, and comes back etc. keep looking at pictures, tlak as much as u can about him and let DD talk to him and do pictures/letters etc - all things which I have no doubt will cheer your DH up,

Like you I thought our marriage would be doomed with him going away - but you'll be surprised,m he came back and was so attentive and helpful it was unbelieveable. (only lasted a few weeks thou) but it was still nice.

erm and there's another lady here medulla I think it is who's DH is going out to afgan next spring (iirc) so might be worth looking for her as I think her LO is about 2/3.

main thing MN hon - real life saver for me, esp Jarm! get out and about keep busy, the first few weeks are the hardest then it passes and they come back and disrupt your routein! lol. also as I always say, don't think he's not coming back - that's not an option (my DH knew that as well), and also focus on the R&R dates/the end of tour dates don't think aww he's away now etc.. I know how hard it is, and he'll prob get all snappy etc b4 he goes out- but that's just the trainignetc and him pyching himself up as well - my DH was an absolute nightmare in the 2 months b4 he went out there. main thing with that thou is to tlak listen and remember he's under just as much stress as u are - as of course you'll be aware.