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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I support my friend?

3 replies

bison55 · 11/12/2014 20:12

(I'm using a very old username, but regular poster).

A friends husband was arrested last year for having indecent images of children on a computer. He was sentenced this week, and I've heard today he now had a 15 month prison sentence. I want to support her and her family, we have been close in the past.

However, I have a history of my father sexually abusing me, including the above. The friend doesn't know this.

So even though I really want to be here for my friend, I feel sick at the thought of what he did, and I think I would find it hard if she wanted to talk about it.

If you were me, or my friend, what would you do?

OP posts:
bison55 · 11/12/2014 20:28

I mean, if you were my friend what would you want me to do?

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 12/12/2014 00:06

She will need friends around her to be normal every day friends, as well as close listen to it all friends.
Can't you be that?
What role have you played for the last year? Presumably if she wanted to talk to you about it, she already would be doing so?
I'm sorry that this happened to you Flowers

CogitOIOIO · 12/12/2014 07:35

I think you'll have to be honest with your friend if you want to help her without compromising yourself. If you say that you want to help but find it difficult to talk about the offence itself due to past experiences I think that would cover it.

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