I've name changed for this.
I have suffered with anxiety and depression at times in my life (relatively mild) and much much less so since meeting my OH who I have been with for 6 yrs. we have a DD, I am pregnant with DC2 and we are overall I would say pretty happy the majority of the time. Rarely argue but sometimes stresses of life get on too of us and the relationship is a bit less fun and exciting than I would like but I think that's life and pregnancy at times!
Anyway although most of time time I deal well with my anxiety if it ever manifests now it's usually anxiety and paranoia over our relationship or sometimes something terrible happening to OH or DD. I often obsess over events that are coming up for weeks before they happen. I've learnt strategies to alieviate this and am much much better. OH knows I can get anxious but I don't go on about it as tbh I don't feel that bad often and I don't think it's all that attractive they way I show it.
So tomorrow he is going away for a night for his Xmas party with work to Scotland with the rest of his office (approx 80 people) most of the office are based up there and he and a few others will stay over in a hotel. He really really deserves the party as has worked very hard this weekend. But I am so paranoid he will a) get stupidly drunk and have an office fling with someone b) get stupidly drunk and not call / contact me so I'll be worried sick option 1 is happening. That's it really. I know I am 100% ridiculous as he's never cheated on me (or anyone for that matter) and shoes no inclination of doing so but I can't stop worrying what I could lose if he did. Normally I would have a couple of glasses of wine and go to bed but obviously I can't and I know already if I don't hear from him I will be really worried. In general he is very 'in contact' even when drunk mostly so I don't know why I am worrying so so much, I think it's because I know he won't be coming home and I feel incredibly vulnerable being preggers home alone.
How can I talk to him about this without sounding like a total lunatic, psycho nagging girlfriend?! I want him just to reassure me he will keep in contact so I don't worry all night but In reality I think it's me (well in know it is) that's over thinking it all and I wish I had a way of just being a bit more zen!! Does anyone else every worry about stuff like this or am I a total control freak?
I am 27 wks pregnant btw hence why I've said it's ok for him to go for a night as we hopefully still have a whole until baby arrives.
And I should add I've been cheated on twice before (neither at an office Xmas party tho!!) which is where I think my paranoia stems from despite me knowing my OH is not that man!!