Please help. Am i over reacting, because I know I'm hyper sensitive?

[amigababy]

Background is I'm 47 , been married 20 years. We are usually very happy. I am very quiet, dh less so. He developed a habit of addressing me as "Mother" in a 1950s style. I told him I found it upsetting. He said he'd stop but he carried on. I said I hated it so he said he'd not do it again.

He's just done it again. He knows I'm upset.

It makes me feel sick, asexual, unattractive, an old woman.
Am I crazy feeling like this. Do I need to emphasize just how it sickens me to hear it? Does he have a different image of me from how I see myself and is there any point trying to explain it or do I just crumple inside?

Caveat, may be peri menopausal!

It doesn't matter if he's calling you "Mother" or "Gorgeous" or "Fluffybunnywunnybooboo"

you've asked him not to and he's carried on.

And that is disrespectful, and rude.

Caveat - am also old and have limited patience. But I had limited patience when I was young

I don't think you're being hyper sensitive at all. It's not a nice thing to deliberatley call anyone a name that they not like.

You said he knows you're upset, has he apologised?

Call him Granddad in return. That should stop him

Well are you speaking to him as if your his mother?

Taking in isolation, it's bloody annoying but I wouldn't say "sickening". But I'm assuming you're not taking this in isolation - does he often ignore your feelings?

I wasn't addressing him , I just walked in the room and it was something like "mother , do you want a cuppa?"

He's apologized, he just doesn't seem to "get it"

We used to be really lovely together, now I envisage Darby & Joan. Which is silly at my age.
Irene

Um I find that a little bit creepy tbh and can see why you don't like it. No you are not overreacting, I think it is normal to feel uncomfortable and hurt if someone who professes to love you insists on calling you a name you have told them you hate.

My DH started calling me "Mother" using bad West Country accent. I am 35 and found it equally humiliating - YANBU!

When he didn't stop, I found myself calling him "Father" in same accent (but at full volume) in front of random people in check-out queues and in front of his friends. It was worth the embarrassment - he hasn't done it since.

I don't think you are overreacting at all, I would hate it too!

Once would annoy me, but to carry on when you have made it clear you don't like it is disrespectful and rude.

Call him "Wee Willy" or similar. See how he likes it.

My DP calls me all kinds of names, there are literally about 50, they tend to be used for a bit then fade out, some reappear months later. I asked him not to call me some and then he just moves on to something else. I've learnt that he honestly can't help it, it just comes out.

There one I dislike the most is "Booby", he calls me this in public and the general public have no idea that my name start with a B and originally he called me "Boo" then the it changed to "Booby". To everybody else it just sounds like he is calling me a tit .... Worse still this week it has started to progress to "Poopy".

Total sympathy, I live in my Mexico and the equivalent is "Mi Reina" that my ex took to calling me, gggggggrrrrrr.

Every time he does it I would reply "yes Fuckwit?"

Just give him the middle finger each time, a bad eye and ignore.

tell him your not his mother...then suggest he needs to talk to someone about his v weird obsession..or tell his actual mother , when shes sat in the room with her

oops him

If you've asked someone to stop taking the piss and they carry on then it's not a matter of understanding..... I'm assuming he has regular comprehension skills and speaks English? .... it's a question of not caring. I would not tell him you find it upsetting any more because, if the man doesn't care, he may even get a sick pleasure out of your discomfort. I would tell him that, if he doesn't stop doing it, there will be dire consequences.... up to and including 'LTB'

Be assertive.

I suspect it is more that he is not thinking and it slips out than he is being deliberately annoying. I would go for calling him something he wouldn't like ti be called for a while and see if it sinks in.

overslept my DH used to use "Booby" all the time and I HATED it! He just didn't seem to realise how it sounded! cringe

Caveat, may be peri menopausal!

And what has this got to do with it? Come on, the guy is not respecting you and you need to put your foot down and tell him if he can't show respect to you as a partner then you will be rethinking the relationship.

It has nothing to do with the menopause and everything to do with being in an equal relationship.