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I left him over ea and due to move into rental on Friday. I thought I was fine but now that the weepy stage is over I find myself getting furious over how he has got away with his behaviour. He is still in our lovely big house (looking into selling it tomorrow), he has a new £20k car and is likely to be dating again. He is acting all hard done by and bleating about spending Christmas on his own. I meanwhile have no job, will have to rent for the rest of my life and his family will think I'm the wicked witch of the west. I have seen a solicitor and the prenup is binding so I will only get half of the small amount of equity in the house. The main thing is that he is still trying to pretend he is a reasonable human and won't admit to what he is despite me texting the following 2 texts. He just says I'm letting a few bad months colour an otherwise good relationship. I have spoken to his ex and he did all the same stuff to her. She described him as abusive also.
Text 1
You were verbally and emotionally abusive, it's only now I'm out of it I can see it for what it was and how bad it was. That's not love, it's manipulation. I am so angry about how you behaved towards me. I have recordings of the horrible horrible things you said to me and no one should ever speak to another human being like that ever. This isn't depression or stress, it's abuse and now you'll just go and do the same to another woman. The only way we could have a good relationship would be if you admit your issues and seek counselling but you seem to go through life blaming everyone else for your mental issues repeating the same patterns over and over again and messing up other peoples lives and homes in the process.
Reply:
We have spoken about the above umpteen times and most of it simply isn't true on my opinion. I just want to focus on Baby and getting things sorted out, not holding a post mortem every other day.
My reply:
It is true. Why would I leave you with such a young baby and no job?! It's not something anyone would do on a whim and I clearly don't have anyone else (nor will I likely be able to trust anyone for a very long time if at all) I have recordings and a diary and it's on record with the doctor and health visitor. If you have had training on domestic abuse and can be honest with yourself then you know very well that you are abusive. You will have done this before and you should not be allowed to do it again. I do not want my son growing up witnessing domestic abuse. You must get this sorted out. The counselling I am receiving is for the abuse but I don't want him going through it.
I am tempted to go to the police. His ex did one of the times he made a suicide threat and he got counselling. I think I would be unlikely to get anywhere though would I? I would probably just look bitter.