HELP! Problems with the boyfriend!

[sum41sbombette]

My friend thinks my boyfriend treats me like s**t. (Sorry I dunno if Im allowed to say that) I know sometimes he treats me a little bad, as in things he says or does sometimes. We've got problems at the moment, and are actually on a break, but that's due to problems of my own. How can I tell if Im just being walked all over or not?

Do you feel unhappy more often than you feel happy? Usually a pretty good indicator of whether things ar going in the right direction or not.
All relationships have ups and downs but I think the ups should outweigh the downs.

Yeah, I always feel happy with him, and miss him when he's not around. Im missing him like crazy at the moment alexsmum. But the downs usually are over something that is really pathetic and stupid, and usually almost ends up us breaking up. But my friend thinks I should break up with him because she thinks he treats me badly. And Im not going to break up with him just cos she thinks I should. Id only do it if I wanted to.

What kind of things does he do which make your friend concerned about you?

Would you be concerned if you were in her shoes or is she overreacting?

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We have our arguements as all couples do. But when the going gets tough, he tries to joke his way out, or turns his fone off, or runs away. My friends concerned for me cos she doesnt want 2 c me get hurt, cos I was with my bf a few years ago b4 he split up with me. I cant remember half of what I tell her, as shes the one I go to when Ive got problems with him.

He's an actor, and he has a show coming up in May. He has to kiss a girl, and then have a threesome. It was this same girl that he was willing to go and support her for a singing competition. But at around this time I wanted to go to counselling cos I was havin problems with ex and money etc. but he was so against it. I couldnt understand why he wudnt support me, but be willing to support some other girl (but I do realise that the situations arent the same)

I know he can says things that make me feel about 2 inches tall. Like his family are quite posh I guess, and they expects pleases and thank yous. One time, his bro gave us a lift and I didnt say thank u (cos I was in a bad mood), so when we were given a lift next, bf sed say thank u, which made me look like an idiot cos I was guna say thank u neway.

He said to me once that hes the only bloke wholl have me cos of my dd (hes not the father u c). I know theres other stuff, but I cant really remember.

I do love him, and I know he loves me. He was saying that once hes done his degree, he would want to move in with me and dd, and one day ask me to marry him etc. But my friend thinks I should run for the hills whilst I still can.

My boyfriend is now thinking that maybe we just dont get along together because we sometimes argue, and the week wen I was at his house, I just seemed down which caused arguements, but I think that was mostly through homesickness and other things. I just dunno wot to do with him.

Do you feel he is the only bloke to put up with you cos of dd - if so that is not very nice or supportive of him and maybe he feels secure knowing he has a ready made family and as such treats in what could be seen as a bad way - it is how you see it all that matters as your friend may worry only because she knows what you tell - if anything like me sound off about all the bad stuff but none of the good. Have you tried writing a list of all good and bad points adn then decide - remember you and dd come as a package- there are blokes out there who accept other mens children as their own so do not worry on that front

Bf loves my dd, and is willing to love her as if she was his own.

Beetroot, its with college at the moment, and hes doing a degree in drama, hoping he can become a professional actor one day. His show is where he lives, and they're touring with it and stuff. I did say, after much deliberation and me trying to talk myself out of it, that I'd go to support him, and this is one of the biggest roles he has had, even though Im not happy to be sat there watching him doing stuff with someone else.

I've just been txting him at the moment, even though we're on a "break". The issues now become whether he still wants to be with me now, as he's the one that wanted to go on this break. I didn't. He says he thinks about whether its gona work between us, as he seems to think we're always arguing, which isn't true. This is all flared up just because of me being in a funny mood cos I was home sick whilst at his house.

I'm also suffering from mild depression, and he's wondering whether theres actually anything wrong with me. Charming! I really dont know what to do. Im trying to give him some space like he wants, but I really dont know what he wants to achieve from this, unless he's thinking it's all getting a bit too much and he wants out.

It's nonsense to say that nobody else would want you, and cruel to say so. When you argue, how is he? Is he ever violent? Does he break things (esp your things)? Does he stop you seeing your friends and family?
There's no point getting jealous about what happens on stage. It's his work.
How long have you been together and how old are you both?

No, hes not violent or nething. Just shouts, and sumtimes pushes me but not as bad as it sounds. Just lightly. I try not to get jealous of his work, but it doesnt help when he told me that this girl he's doing it with, is gorgeous and has a great personality. You cant help but be a little jealous if your bf thinks that about someone else. We're 19 (young I know), and been together for 8 months, but we've got a long history too. I think that maybe he's starting to think it's too much with me and my dd.

19 is very, very young. Esp for a man without kids. And pushing IS bad, very bad, I think. I don't really think you need a man who gets physical and says mean things.

I know, but it happened ages ago, and it was during a really bad arguement. My mum keeps saying that bf is still young, and I realise that, as I often keep asking him if he is okay with the situation etc. That's why I wonder now if he is thinking of trying to get out of the relationship whilst he still can, before things get to... sticky if you will.

I think he is treating you badly you someone to understand how you feel and not to say things to make youfeel bad about yourself, is it possible for you to go to college/uni, develop your own interests (hard with dd but not impossible)so you have something for yourself

I do part time college at the moment. Its only one evening every week, but im swamped with coursework. And it doesnt help with whats going on.

Sorry to hear that, I do not know waht else you can try only you can decide if you want to be with him or if the way he treats you is right. Sorry I can not help more I'd love to wave a magic wand for you . Just try to be really chilled and if he needs space perhaps agree some time scale -

I am at Uni at the moment so know how you feel about being swamped

Thanks. Well I havent spoken to him for a couple of days so Ill just have to wait and see what happens, and do some serious thinking. Wouldn't it be great if you could wave a magic wand lol

You are both very young still. Tbh I think you should concentrate on your own life building a future for you and your dd. You have many years yet to meet someone who is mature and ready to commit.

Ummmmm, hang on. Aren't you the same person who wants her boyf/fiance to adopt her child ?!

Lol, yea I was just asking in general. Not necessarily about my boyfriend, just for anyone in the future that I may decide to marry.

Oh, fair enough

Just checking you are ok

Yeah, not too bad at the moment. He text me earlier saying he doesn't want to split up with me, just finds me confusing. Lol. Well us women are a mystery aren't we? He said he'd ring later, so I'll have to see what he has to say.