Tell me i'm doing the right thing

[fairgame]

Cut a very long story short.
DP and I have had a very on/off relationship since 2003. I mean gaps of a few years where we have been NC then got back together then NC etc etc.

Anyway August 2013 i had to get in touch with him due to a CSA issue (we have one child) after being NC since March 2010. After the CSA issue was resolved he began texting me which then led to us meeting up and we got on really well.
We decided that things seemed to be going well and we would give it another go. He wouldn't commit fully to us being a relationship but would stay a few nights a week until May when he decided to move to the other end of the country with work. We continued to see each other, him coming to mine and sometimes me going to his and it was all going ok.

Then he came to stay in October. He was a bit off with me and made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Then last month i didn't hear from him for about 2 weeks but then when i kind of gave up on him he came back into my life full force, constantly texting me etc. Until last week. He got angry on Tuesday because i have just gone back to work after being on benefits for the past year. He is upset because i earn more than him because i get tax credits - not my fault, i am claiming legitimately. After his little strop he apologised i thought everything was back on track. But i haven't heard from him since until tonight. He has messaged me on Skype to say that he has nothing more to say to me. He doesn't feel anything for me and doesn't want to be with me and never will.
This is has really upset me but now i'm getting really angry. He has said this a few times before when he has thrown a strop then changed his mind 2 weeks later. This time i'm not taking his shit. I've deleted his number out of my phone, deleted him off Skype and blocked him on Whatsapp. I've told him that i hope he is happy and i won't ever contact him again and have deleted his number and he replied with 'lol ok'.

I do love him and i really want to be with him but he treats me like shit because i have always let him get away with it. He is never going to commit to me or treat me decently is he? Going NC again is definitely the right thing to do isn't it?
I feel like i won't ever love anybody like i love him but he clearly doesn't feel the same about me does he. I feel like removing him from my life is very final and i'm doubting myself.

P.s. He doesn't have any contact with DS because he can't cope with him (DS has SN) so he won't be able to worm his way back in my life by using DS.

The hold he has on you is the hope in your own mind. Life's tough solo. Tougher with DCs. Tougher still if there is SN to deal with. It gets lonely, you fantasise about 'a family' and I don't suppose you find it easy to meet new people who will fill the role. So you gravitate back to the devil you know, and like the famous definition of insanity, you do the same thing over again and expect a different outcome.

So drop the hope you have as first step. Acknowledge the reality i.e. he's a user. Then, if it's a family you want, make an effort to complete it with someone worthy of the job.

Good luck

That makes a lot of sense Cogit!

Thanks for all your advice. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders to be honest. I don't even feel that upset.
I was discussing it with some slightly older, but definitely much wiser colleagues today and i feel a lot better.
I think once i've got christmas out of the way i'll give OD a try and start to properly move on.
He will never commit to me, if he was going it would have done it years a go. I'm probably nothing more than a stop gap til he meets someone else.
I want all the normal things like marriage and a nice house and family holidays etc. It's scary trying to start all over again with someone else which is probably why it's easier just to let him back in. I've just been delaying the inevitable though, it will never happen with him he will always put himself first.

Good plan