Muminboots - am very sorry your DH is blocking all discussion about this.
I really don't mean to hijack your thread by making it all about me but this exact issue - the diagnosis - is something pretty close to my heart and an issue I've been giving more and more thought to over the last few years - possibly because it's a subject which, IMO, has become more talked about recently. Years back, if I'm honest, I'd never heard of Aspergers as a description of how someone's brain might be wired but of course that didn't mean that those of us who experience a great many of the "typical" symptoms were imagining them. And often suffering greatly because we nearly always felt on the outside looking in, were making repeated social gaffes (despite wanting to do the right thing), were going through stress and anxiety re: all sorts of social situations and so on and so on - you know what I mean.
Anyway .... I'm pondering (more and more) seeking a diagnosis. To be frank, it's because I want to know why I am like I am, and, so I can finally retort (where necessary) to various relatives, friends and acquaintances who have all too often criticised me for being - amongst other things - selfish, anti-social, aloof, stuck-up, unfriendly, not making an effort (oh the irony, I can't begin to describe just how much effort it takes to psyche myself up for almost all sorts of social gatherings), weird, odd etc etc. Some of those things have been said directly to me, and usually not in a kind manner. It really hurts, because at some level I understand where others are coming from and I know, in theory what one is supposed to behave like (I'm not a savage, and I place huge importance on manners and consideration, so always try very hard) when interacting with others, but somehow, it just doesn't seem to 'click' for me in the same way it appears (to me, as I watch others) to do for the vast majority.
However - and this is the biggie - I'm scared to seek a diagnosis because if it isn't conclusive, and if who/what I am can't be 'officially' explained, then where does that leave me ??? ...... 'unofficially weird' I guess. 
I've only recently started to share my thoughts with my DP and I've received a mixed response. He hasn't been unkind, and recognises only too well the symptoms I describe. However, I do think right now he still believes that if I 'made more of an effort' it would help me overcome the difficulty I have in making - and keeping - friends for example. My attempts at explaining why I usually find socialising extremely excruciating are met with 'well, you should do this or that' - which are things he'd do, but which are terrifying for me. I've tried to explain I'm NOT shy (feel confident in talking about specific topics, in making complaints, in doing presentations - it's the bloody chit chat I have no clue about), nor do I dislike other people generally (unless there is good reason) but it feels like I get a mental block when actually placed in a real social situation (though could write quite happily about the theory of communication and socialising).
For me, getting some sort of diagnosis - even if it wasn't Aspergers specifically - would be a huge relief. Some sort of validation for the fact that in my head and my heart I feel like a kind person with good intentions who, nonetheless often manages to either rub people up the wrong way, say something 'odd' or kill conversations stone dead (or alternatively, have simply come to be known as the (very) 'quiet one' because I just stand there like a ridiculous grinning idiot, nodding away, but not contributing because my self confidence has been shot to pieces all these years).
So yes - damn right I'd want to talk about it, and especially with my nearest and dearest, and would feel very hurt if I was dismissed like you've been Muminboots. Okay, you'll be the same person - and the same person your DH fell in love with .... but regardless, if you're like me (and countless others) you'll have gone through huge periods of frustration, bewilderment, disappointment, hurt, self-doubt and so on, and will almost certainly have missed out on all sorts of opportunities because either you recognised you couldn't cope with the sort of social interaction that opportunity demanded, and/or because others backed away from you once they started to get to know you and realised you were, at best, 'awkward'. Not to mention the perpetual worry of fitting in, not (totally inadvertently) upsetting others and constantly having to concentrate so terribly hard on what to say and what to do and what will be considered 'appropriate' (or not). It's utterly exhausting and I've definitely turned all that struggle in on myself which has had a significant detrimental effect on my mental health (depression and anxiety). I'm sure many others in a similar position will also have experienced these knock-on effects. The idea that, finally, a medical professional confirms that you're not a bad person must be like a ten ton weight being lifted off you. At the very least I'd hope your partner would want to celebrate your diagnosis - I don't mean with a party! - but by acknowledging what a huge deal this is, and allowing you to talk as much as you need to.
I'd also hope that he'd embrace who you are by finding out as much as he can about ASD - there's no doubt you're 'using' it to 'get out of doing things'. It's fact, pure and simple. As a pp upthread said - it's not about 'won't', it's about 'can't' but so many people think it comes down to a lack of 'effort', or being 'selfish' if you try to explain why a particular situation is so dreadfully hard to take part in. In my own case, were I to get a diagnosis I think my partner would be generally sympathetic - but he's definitely accused me in the past of 'spoiling' different occasions because I've panicked, or because I didn't 'join in' or didn't make 'the effort' (aarrrrggghh - I HATE that more than anything). I suspect once 'it' (as in, who I am) was made 'officially' okay he would back right off - and, to be fair, I've noticed a change in attitude since I started to confide my suspicions and fears. But also think there may be an element of sheepishness there too as we've had a number of clashes over the years about how I conduct myself, and what I feel capable of, comfortable with etc. Maybe there's an element of that too with your DH ?? - perhaps he's remembering how he's (probably) been too hard on you (in light of your diagnosis) and is feeling ashamed ? But you see, if only he were to admit that, and apologise in retrospect and with new understanding, I suspect that would actually bring you closer. And being free to discuss it, should, I would have thought, do your relationship more good than harm because if you can work out strategies for dealing with situations you find scary/uncomfortable together - without criticism, blame or resentment - then hopefully you will feel more relaxed, more confident and those things will reflect back on him.
Of course, I supposed at the end of the day, it'll come down to how open minded and receptive he is about ASD. It should be 'enough that you've received a diagnosis and he should^ be mature enough to accept that, but sadly many people still remain sceptical about anything to do with the mind - be it a treatable condition, or the way an individual is wired. I really don't know what to suggest next and am very aware I've gone off on one with this epic response - so sorry if I've said anything out of turn - but as a pp suggested, can only think you need to speak to dedicated organisations who'll hopefully be able to advise how best to 'get through' to him.
You know, it almost comes across as if he's 'raining on your parade'. You must feel pretty elated/relieved about the diagnosis (I know I would be) but he's putting a right old downer on it. Like if he doesn't acknowledge it, it can't be real. I can't think why he'd want to do that, and am very sorry that he's making so little attempt to share this with you.