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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH refuses to accept or discuss my ASD diagnosis

35 replies

muminboots · 01/12/2014 12:01

I was diagnosed in April with Aspergers syndrome/ASD by a psychologist who specialises in Aspergers in females. This was a massive revelation for me, because it explains so much about the struggles I've had all my life. It has brought me to a place where I feel I can finally truly accept myself.

My DH was involved in the diagnosis because they need an outside perspective. He was happy to give his input. But once I had the diagnosis, he refused to discuss it further. He says nothing has changed, I'm still the same person, so what's the point in making a big deal of it?

But for me it IS a big deal because it gives me tools to cope with difficulties such as dealing with social events, jobs, sensitivities to noise etc. And the dreadful anxiety I have suffered from all my life, and and so many other things. It was amazing to discover a whole community of people who have similar struggles to me. And that my brain really is wired differently (not wrong!)

I feel very hurt and dismissed by his attitude to be honest. I'm basically not allowed to utter the A word in the house. I haven't dared tell anyone else about my diagnosis because I'm scared they will dismiss it too - my DM doesn't know (she WOULD dismiss it, she doesn't believe in things like that) and my friends don't know.

I just want to know if this is weird? Should I just leave it? Am I really just making a fuss over a label that doesn't really change anything? I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
lookingforsunshine · 01/12/2014 15:36

Hi,

Here are a few ideas for you:

-Call the National Autistic Society Helpline (0808 800 4104). 10-4pm Monday-Friday. They are great at dealing with stuff like this. They will definitely give you the time to talk through your feelings, thoughts and the situation with your partner. You could also email them on [email protected]
The NAS keep a list of counsellors who are trained/ have experience of Aspergers Syndrome. You may benefit from some counselling from a suitably skilled professional (or joint counselling with your partner).
They have some good resources on partners that you could print off, maybe show your partner.

-Have a look at the website www.researchautism.net

-Would also recommend the book 'An Asperger Marriage'-Gisela and Christopher Slater-Walker (Jessica Kingsley Publishers).

Hope this helps.

:-)

Twinklestein · 01/12/2014 16:01

I think it's totally unacceptable that you can't mention it in your own house, and equally that you feel you can't tell your friends. Of course you must tell them if you want.

If my husband was diagnosed with something - anything frankly from neurological disorders to physical conditions - I would want to hear all about it. Even if it bores your husband, he should at least be supportive in allowing you the space to process your experiences.

trackrBird · 01/12/2014 16:20

He sounds somewhat dismissive and unsupportive. You should be able to talk about it sometimes, without it becoming a huge bore and a burden to him - the same way you supported him with his panic attacks.

Tell him you need to talk about it sometimes, but you will put a time limit on it if needs be.

I'm uncomfortable with the idea that he thinks you will 'use it to get out of things' as well. Why would any person with a conscience do that?

Why does he think so little of you that he thinks you'll bunk off things, and use the condition as an excuse?

I don't want to read too much into what you've said, but he sounds a little hostile to me. If you'd been a bore about it, I'd understand a little huffing on his part - but why put a topic completely off limits?

merlincat · 01/12/2014 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZorbaTheHoarder · 01/12/2014 21:21

I really feel that your H should make the effort to listen to you. You have made it clear to him that it is really important to you and, as your life partner, he should support you - BY LISTENING!

I can understand that you must feel hugely relieved to have a diagnosis after a lifetime of worry - so he, as supposedly the person closest to you, should be willing to share your experience.

Eye-rolling when you are trying to talk about something important to you is not very respectful, to say the least.

Try to let him know how hurt and dismissed you feel by his disinterest and ask him what his problem is...

sykadelic · 03/12/2014 02:17

While I agree with others that of course he should be paying attention to how you feel and not dismissing it, I also don't think you fully understand how he feels.

You have a diagnosis for something but it hasn't changed, to him, anything about you. It's not like you were in physical pain and desperately need treatment . It's simply an explanation for how you are, not an excuse.

That way that you are is how he loves you, how he fell in love with you. He sees nothing wrong with you as you are. He doesn't want you thinking, as others have said, that you should simply say "well I have ASD so that's just how it is" rather than to keep trying and being how you already are.

While this diagnosis explains a lot for you, nothing else about you will, or should, change (except maybe confidence in yourself) so to him, this is a non-event and you're harping on (in his mind) about something that changes nothing.

Again, that doesn't mean he should dismiss how you feel but it's really not as important to him as it is to you. As a crass comparison, it's like talking about the new shoes you got, and going on and on and on and on about them. He doesn't know what else you expect from him outside of "that's nice dear".

What DO you want from him? You have ASD, he knows you do, what else do you want from him? This is something for you, about you. Really it doesn't involve him or affect him at all. Give him time to think about it and just go about your life and deal with situations as they come.

2times · 03/12/2014 09:40

Skyadelic, do you have experience of asd?

The op has said that she would like to be able to talk to her dh about her diagnosis. She would like him to listen.

It certainly will affect her dh. But hopefully in a positive way. Understanding her asd might help them both approach situations, that might have been difficult for her previously, in a different way.
Being more understanding of her needs (for personal space, mental headspace, routines etc) will overall be a win win for them both.
Likewise little 'misunderstandings' can be seen in a different light leading to less upset at home (in both directions)
I'm projecting/thinking about my own and my dc's issues here but everyone with asd will have their own things to consider.
It really does involve and affect the dh.

catsmother · 03/12/2014 11:55

Muminboots - am very sorry your DH is blocking all discussion about this.

I really don't mean to hijack your thread by making it all about me but this exact issue - the diagnosis - is something pretty close to my heart and an issue I've been giving more and more thought to over the last few years - possibly because it's a subject which, IMO, has become more talked about recently. Years back, if I'm honest, I'd never heard of Aspergers as a description of how someone's brain might be wired but of course that didn't mean that those of us who experience a great many of the "typical" symptoms were imagining them. And often suffering greatly because we nearly always felt on the outside looking in, were making repeated social gaffes (despite wanting to do the right thing), were going through stress and anxiety re: all sorts of social situations and so on and so on - you know what I mean.

Anyway .... I'm pondering (more and more) seeking a diagnosis. To be frank, it's because I want to know why I am like I am, and, so I can finally retort (where necessary) to various relatives, friends and acquaintances who have all too often criticised me for being - amongst other things - selfish, anti-social, aloof, stuck-up, unfriendly, not making an effort (oh the irony, I can't begin to describe just how much effort it takes to psyche myself up for almost all sorts of social gatherings), weird, odd etc etc. Some of those things have been said directly to me, and usually not in a kind manner. It really hurts, because at some level I understand where others are coming from and I know, in theory what one is supposed to behave like (I'm not a savage, and I place huge importance on manners and consideration, so always try very hard) when interacting with others, but somehow, it just doesn't seem to 'click' for me in the same way it appears (to me, as I watch others) to do for the vast majority.

However - and this is the biggie - I'm scared to seek a diagnosis because if it isn't conclusive, and if who/what I am can't be 'officially' explained, then where does that leave me ??? ...... 'unofficially weird' I guess. Sad

I've only recently started to share my thoughts with my DP and I've received a mixed response. He hasn't been unkind, and recognises only too well the symptoms I describe. However, I do think right now he still believes that if I 'made more of an effort' it would help me overcome the difficulty I have in making - and keeping - friends for example. My attempts at explaining why I usually find socialising extremely excruciating are met with 'well, you should do this or that' - which are things he'd do, but which are terrifying for me. I've tried to explain I'm NOT shy (feel confident in talking about specific topics, in making complaints, in doing presentations - it's the bloody chit chat I have no clue about), nor do I dislike other people generally (unless there is good reason) but it feels like I get a mental block when actually placed in a real social situation (though could write quite happily about the theory of communication and socialising).

For me, getting some sort of diagnosis - even if it wasn't Aspergers specifically - would be a huge relief. Some sort of validation for the fact that in my head and my heart I feel like a kind person with good intentions who, nonetheless often manages to either rub people up the wrong way, say something 'odd' or kill conversations stone dead (or alternatively, have simply come to be known as the (very) 'quiet one' because I just stand there like a ridiculous grinning idiot, nodding away, but not contributing because my self confidence has been shot to pieces all these years).

So yes - damn right I'd want to talk about it, and especially with my nearest and dearest, and would feel very hurt if I was dismissed like you've been Muminboots. Okay, you'll be the same person - and the same person your DH fell in love with .... but regardless, if you're like me (and countless others) you'll have gone through huge periods of frustration, bewilderment, disappointment, hurt, self-doubt and so on, and will almost certainly have missed out on all sorts of opportunities because either you recognised you couldn't cope with the sort of social interaction that opportunity demanded, and/or because others backed away from you once they started to get to know you and realised you were, at best, 'awkward'. Not to mention the perpetual worry of fitting in, not (totally inadvertently) upsetting others and constantly having to concentrate so terribly hard on what to say and what to do and what will be considered 'appropriate' (or not). It's utterly exhausting and I've definitely turned all that struggle in on myself which has had a significant detrimental effect on my mental health (depression and anxiety). I'm sure many others in a similar position will also have experienced these knock-on effects. The idea that, finally, a medical professional confirms that you're not a bad person must be like a ten ton weight being lifted off you. At the very least I'd hope your partner would want to celebrate your diagnosis - I don't mean with a party! - but by acknowledging what a huge deal this is, and allowing you to talk as much as you need to.

I'd also hope that he'd embrace who you are by finding out as much as he can about ASD - there's no doubt you're 'using' it to 'get out of doing things'. It's fact, pure and simple. As a pp upthread said - it's not about 'won't', it's about 'can't' but so many people think it comes down to a lack of 'effort', or being 'selfish' if you try to explain why a particular situation is so dreadfully hard to take part in. In my own case, were I to get a diagnosis I think my partner would be generally sympathetic - but he's definitely accused me in the past of 'spoiling' different occasions because I've panicked, or because I didn't 'join in' or didn't make 'the effort' (aarrrrggghh - I HATE that more than anything). I suspect once 'it' (as in, who I am) was made 'officially' okay he would back right off - and, to be fair, I've noticed a change in attitude since I started to confide my suspicions and fears. But also think there may be an element of sheepishness there too as we've had a number of clashes over the years about how I conduct myself, and what I feel capable of, comfortable with etc. Maybe there's an element of that too with your DH ?? - perhaps he's remembering how he's (probably) been too hard on you (in light of your diagnosis) and is feeling ashamed ? But you see, if only he were to admit that, and apologise in retrospect and with new understanding, I suspect that would actually bring you closer. And being free to discuss it, should, I would have thought, do your relationship more good than harm because if you can work out strategies for dealing with situations you find scary/uncomfortable together - without criticism, blame or resentment - then hopefully you will feel more relaxed, more confident and those things will reflect back on him.

Of course, I supposed at the end of the day, it'll come down to how open minded and receptive he is about ASD. It should be 'enough that you've received a diagnosis and he should^ be mature enough to accept that, but sadly many people still remain sceptical about anything to do with the mind - be it a treatable condition, or the way an individual is wired. I really don't know what to suggest next and am very aware I've gone off on one with this epic response - so sorry if I've said anything out of turn - but as a pp suggested, can only think you need to speak to dedicated organisations who'll hopefully be able to advise how best to 'get through' to him.

You know, it almost comes across as if he's 'raining on your parade'. You must feel pretty elated/relieved about the diagnosis (I know I would be) but he's putting a right old downer on it. Like if he doesn't acknowledge it, it can't be real. I can't think why he'd want to do that, and am very sorry that he's making so little attempt to share this with you.

sykadelic · 03/12/2014 19:06

2times I'm saying he doesn't believe that it impacts him at all so he's not interested. Cold-hearted for sure but I'm sure he thinks that if she's been "getting by" so far then why should anything change?

I don't think he sees this diagnosis as a reason for things to change, or as you put it "a way to approach it" because her way, his way, their way has been "working" for years.

I think she needs to explain to him that it hasn't been working. That she's been unhappy for a long time, forcing herself to do things that make her uncomfortable day after day after day. It's one thing to force yourself to go to that family gathering you want to avoid at Christmas, quite different if you realise that simply leaving every morning (for example) brings on anxiety. Essentially all her life she's never felt okay saying "no I'm not comfortable with that" because "normal" people wouldn't be bothered by it. So she's been forcing herself to comply and upsetting herself in the meantime.

He doesn't get it. If he DOES get it and simply doesn't care (and I don't believe that's the case), then that's a whole other issue.

kleinzeit · 03/12/2014 21:37

muminboots The thing is, “no change” might be exactly what your husband wants. But the diagnosis will change things, because it will change how you understand things and how you deal with things, and that will affect him. What he calls “give up trying” or “using your diagnosis” may from your point of view mean “recognise how much you have been bending yourself out of shape in order to conform”.

Maybe he is afraid that now you have the diagnosis you will stop acting in some particular ways, ways that up til now have suited him very nicely even when they are uncomfortable for you. If you stop doing those things then it may be less comfortable for him. And that might be a reasonable fear, but it’s not a fear that can reasonably be dealt with by refusing to discuss it.

He sounds scared. But the best way to deal with your diagnosis and his fears is for both of you to talk about them.

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