Hi, I've name changed. As a young child I was sexually abused by my brother, who was nearly three years older than me. It took me years to acknowledge this was significant in my life and it has led to lots of trust and relationship difficulties with men in my adult life (I'm now a,single parent).
I've had some counselling, but I have no relationship with my brother, thankfully we live quite a long way from each other. The counselling did little for me, other than flag that the lifelony impact on me of the abuse has been very typical of someone who experienced this.
I feel quite angry that my brother is seen as wonderful by my dm. I cringe at annual family gatherings. I feel I want my dm to know the truth of what he did, he would have been aged 6-8 at the time of the abuse. He also showed me a lot of pornography that would have been owned by my parents 
this damaged me. The counsellor was of the view that I shouldn't tell dm as she'd be really upset, it'd solve nothing and I should live in the present/for the future. I see her point. She suggested that if I said anything, it should be along the lines of 'some abusive things happened to me by brother when I was young, however please don't worry and I've moved on'. What do you think?