Marriage and fantasy romances

[Tempy]

How many long-time married people conduct fantasy romance relationships in their heads? Is this common or weird? Mine are with people I know in real life - one lasted about 10 years, and the current one is nearly a year now. In both cases I think they might reciprocate in real life. Have I just gone mad?

Used to have a crush on someone I worked with occassionally. Went on or a while. It stopped dead one day when I saw him drive in his spotlessly clean range rover and his tweed cap. Weird.

*fairly pragmatic not fairy !
(Although Fairy Pragmatic good character name for children's story!)

Irian - maybe I could give them both tweed caps! It might help!

"I believe now in loving what you have if possible and cherishing the real people in your lives."

Quite. I have a long long marriage and there is precious little fairydust remaining. But the people I have in my life, all of them, are precious to me. I wouldn't want to risk a single one of them for the sake of a little more romance and passion with a fantasy,

Not with RL people, no. Celebs or fictional characters absolutely. DH is fully on board

Erm, nope. Not with real people at any rate. Fictional characters, now, ohhh yes.

I have had crushes but I don't have fantasy relationships, not since I was single anyway.

DH isn't here so I am being totally honest In fact one of my teen "fantasy relationships" was with DH, I wrote stories about it and everything He might know about that but I never let him read them. Too cringeworthy!

Bertie - so, your fantasy relationship became a real relationship - but the difference is you weren't in a real relationship with someone else at the time. I'm not sure if I did that when I was single or not.... can't remember!

Yep, exactly. It was more complicated than that, though. Had crush/fantasy relationship with now DH when we were both 16, found out he wasn't interested (actually this was a misunderstanding, but we were different then and I don't think it would have worked), my affections over time moved onto someone else, dated a few different people, moved in with someone, had a child with that person, split up due to emotional abuse, dated another person, finally got back into contact with now-DH and ended up getting together and ultimately married. It was weird, I never thought of him as "the one who got away" or anything and in fact never really considered him as relationship material after I had moved on.

I have fantasy relationship with various fictional characters. Of course in my fantasies I'm often a superhero who looks like a younger Angelina Jolie with bigger boobs.

Bertie - interestingly complicated!

Ginger

I heard about a man recently, known well to my dh, who had such an explosive midlife crisis that he left one day to run away with the mistress and when they met up both realised they hadn't thought the finances through at all so had to sack it all off. she went home to hubby who took her back and he went home to wifey who slammed the door in his face. now he's in a bedsit.
I'm sorry but I laughed and laughed at him the eejit.
nice xmas present for your kids! the mistress was an eejit too of course.
I think this was a powerful joint fantasy bubble which only popped on the application of a tiny bit of reality. hmmm a lesson there for the eejit inside of all of us.