Namechanged as I'm a regular and don't want to be outed. Also I'm feeling embarrassed posting this!
I know this thread is full of seriously awful stuff like abuse etc. So I'm feeling a bit stupid posting this. But the bottom line is: I suddenly feel like I don't know my DH anymore and it has changed my whole perspective on my relationship. So here goes:
Had a lovely evening planned today - we had an xmas function in school this afternoon, planned to go to our local with some of the other parents and DCs (x3) for half an hour after (think tiny village school with only 50 odd pupils, and tiny village pub), home to a roaring fire and some mulled wine and chips for tea, then for the DCs to write their xmas lists to santa whilst we listen to some xmas tunes on the radio - lovely! Now, DS aged 5 has not been brilliant for a few days, he's had a nasty cough, really chesty, but has been fine otherwise, sleeping ok and generally in a lovely mood.
So: DH goes to work today (self employed, works alone), comes back 20 mins before school function. We attend function. Towards the end DH whidpers to me:shall we really go to the pub? By then he has already checked his watch every 5 minutes. Now I know what is going on here: DH is as usual starving, as he always is, because as usual he cba to take any food to work and hasn't eaten since 10 am. But he goes on to say "DS isn't well. I really think he needs to get home". Ok fine whatever. I sort of agree with him -not worth arguing over I think. But by the time the function finishes my friend comes over and goes "So, are you coming to the pub for a quick one?" Before I even get the chance to answer DH goes "NO!!" in a really aggressive way. I was mortified. I mean really really embarrassed. My friend just said "oh ok then, I'm only going for a bit myself"
So, by the time we get home 10 mins later the kids are all moaning/crying as they had been looking forward to seeing their friends in the pub for a bit and having a coke (rare treat), I'm pissed off due to DHs snapping and DH being in a mood because of feeling like a party pooper (and because of being absolutely starving!)
So we get home and send DCs upstairs and DH says: why are you so pissed off? And I say: mainly because you were so rude to x, you really bit her head off.
This is followed by DH totally loosing it. Shouting, finger pointing, door slamming, you name it. Basically screaming that what I said wasn't true, he was never rude, didn't talk like that, etc etc. I just kept saying don't shout at me, don't shout at me and he kept screaming yes I will cos you keep accusing me of things I haven't done! It got to the point where I felt almost threatened, mainly because I kept thinking oh god, I've never seen him like this before, if he can scream like this at me what else might he do?!
Things calmed down in the end as he stormed upstairs whilst I carried on making tea. He then came downstairs to have tea and just hung around whilst I carried on doing xmas lists etc with the DCs, all the while trying not to cry.
DCs in bed now, DH downstairs and I'm upstairs in bed.
I'm so upset and I don't know if I'm being stupid or not. I think what upset me mainly was that it was all so trivial but I've never ever seen my DH like this. We've been together for 13 years. He's my best friend. But I've never been screamed at like that. By absolutely no one. And now, the one person I thought would always have my back has behaved in a way that has made me feel threatened in my own home. I thought I knew him 100%. I would never have spoken to him or anyone in that wsy. I feel such a twat.
I guess my question is: where do I go from here? And: am I being stupid to feel so let down and lonely right now? I don't want him anywhere near me right now.