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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Phones seem to cause so many problems!

8 replies

flux500 · 29/11/2014 12:38

hello mumsnetters.

I look on the relationship boards all the time and there's so many phone related posts. My partner is very secretive with his phone (though denies that he is) and I'm almost thinking just to get rid of my phone and actually be phone free and generally try not to obsess about phones.

When I try and apply this to real life however it seems impossible. Has anyone else fancies going phone free or even manages it?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/11/2014 12:57

It's not the phone that's the problem, it's the untrustworthy person hiding it.... :) If you think everyone was faithful and had no suspicions before the invention of the mobile phone, think again.

flux500 · 29/11/2014 13:03

cognito those are wise words and I hadn't thought of it that way. Do you think it was as rife as it is now but just hidden better? Another thought is would the emotional affair be as easy to start and nurture without text/fb messaging? :)

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/11/2014 13:05

People who want to be unfaithful will always find a way. Things like mobile phones and email make it little easier, of course they do, but the motivation has to be there in the first place.

makeitabetterplace · 29/11/2014 13:06

I agree. It's not the phone, it's the person who has got it. If your partner is going to cheat on you they'll do it. Possibly it's easier now with facebook etc. making flirting feel 'safer' than having to do it face to face. I get really sad when I see the threads on here about cheating, it makes me scrutinise my own relationship in a way I wouldn't have done otherwise.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/11/2014 13:11

Btw... what you may want to consider is that, in the past, there wasn't such an easy information trail if someone was being unfaithful. No tracking their movements via FB, no text messages to read, no email to hack. You could say to someone 'I'm going for a walk', leave the house for a few hours and know that they couldn't contact you. You could do what you liked ( good or bad) and no one would think it was weird that you didn't answer the text message or whatever.

sparklecrates · 29/11/2014 13:27

Yes there was! To take a rude photo you had to take the film to boots wait three days hope you'd got it back without it being confiscated, write a letter, send it in the post and then perhaps get a phonecall back saying thanks. Mind you at least this meant sone 'relationships' lasted longer!

sparklecrates · 29/11/2014 13:29

by the way because I use the phone a lot mine is always rimming out of charge and sine people around me
.. usually the game players and more-likely-to-cheat-ers curiously always read massive paranoid strategies into it!

sparklecrates · 29/11/2014 13:29

er.. Grin

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