Wise MNetters- how to handle my brother, please.
I live some distance away from my parents who are late 80s and increasingly frail. My brother lives 5 minutes away from them. There are times when I want to talk to him and share my concerns about them, often when I've been talking to them by phone and something's happened which worries me.
But my brother makes himself 'unavailable' by phone. Not only to me I've learned, but my mum too. He doesn't have an answerphone on his landline and hasn't set up voicemail on his mobile (it just rings .) I am certain that for 99% of the times when I try to call he is just not answering- he doesn't have caller display on the landline so it's not as if he's screening the calls.
I'd like to stress that I am not pestering him. On average we speak once a fortnight on a sunday evening, but in between there are occasional times when I want to talk something over about mum & dad.
I've mentioned to mum that he never answers his phones and she simply says he does the same with her and he's busy 'working' (paperwork for some private work he runs alongside his day job.) and won't come to the phone during the evening. The work he does it not that time consuming and certainly doesn't take all evening every day.
he's single, no kids, no relationship, and quite frankly I think he's being utterly selfish but also passive aggressive by making himself unavailable.
Is there any kind and polite way I can raise this with him because there are times when I do need to share my worries about about parents - but it seems it's only when it suits him on his terms.