"Adultery - sexual intercourse at anytime before a decree absolute"....so MORE enforced celibacy then!

[what2eatwhenurbored]

Wow - just read this on uk website.

So just as I've just been advised to get a separation agreement ASAP to get on with my life from a controlling husband, now I can't have a sexual relationship throughout the coming the months...years?? In case he finds out and could then contest the agreement to punish me and make my life worse?!

Not sure I can cope!! Feel like everyone says it's okay to date soon as I've been so lonely for years - maybe not??

Any real/first-hand experience of how this might work in real life???

I agree darkesteyes...we're kidding ourselves if we think that the judicial system is free of misogynists. Men and women are (infuriatingly) rarely judged equally when it comes to who they have sex with. IMO I think you're fine to go for it, but be discreet and never admit in court that you have a new partner. And ENJOY

"women who have already begun a new relationship are not looked upon as favourably and are usually awarded financially less."

That may be the case if someone is applying for ongoing spousal maintenance and is in a new relationship where they had some kind of financial security. Spousal maintenance is an increasingly rare thing anyway if both parties are capable of earning a living. A new relationship really wouldn't be influential in determining the division of marital assets. That's pretty fixed.

This is the article I was referring to...
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/11113918/Dont-date-before-divorce-judge-tells-women.html

But in the real world..... most people are not haggling over who gets millions of pounds inherited prior to the marriage. There's usually a house and a few savings and the way it is carved up generally starts at 50/50 with a few extra allowances being made if there are children.

Ok so what happens if you get divorced and at some time a few years after separation, you come into more money. However you haven't yet got the finances and therefore the Absolute sorted? Does a court take into account the fact you became better off after you separated?

to Cabrinha ....I wish!!!!!!

Mostly it's not the court that agrees the financial split but the couple themselves. Mediation (with legal advice) is the name of the game and courts are only getting involved when communication has totally broken down, there are very complex finances and/or there are millions at stake. If one party suddenly came into a lot of money before everything was finalised, I'm sure there would be an incentive to renegotiate. If it was only a minor change in circumstances, not so much

There is a case on record ... link here ... of a lottery winner in NI having to pay £2m to his ex wife 10 years after the divorce because of an ongoing maintenance (presumably spousal) arrangement.

Interesting link. Looks like he had to pay as he's was paying child maintenance at the time.

No chance of agreeing with stbx - we're starting Mediation next week (we both also have solicitors)

Unfortunately I don't live in Scotland where I believe finances are set at date of separation.