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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Oops, I did it again - next stupid comment please...

15 replies

WotchOotErAPolis · 25/11/2014 07:45

Whilst hosting a vocal workshop last night for children & adults, (fortunately just my friends and their kids) I made a silly 'adult' comment that embarrassed the grown ups but honestly, went right over the children's heads. I did apologise, and also followed up by apologising personally to one friend later on, when delivering some lyrics to her door for the next workshop.

Trouble is, I feel mortified as I have a horrible habit of making inappropriate comments and it always seems to be in front of people I care about and wouldn't dream of embarrassing.

Anyone else done this, how do you handle it, and any tips on how I can avoid doing it again?! It cuts me up as I can't handle the feeling that I'm just stupid and can't just keep my big mouth shut.Blush

OP posts:
katsumama · 25/11/2014 07:51

Was it really so bad or are you obsessing a bit?

If you make an out-of-place remark, it's often best to apologise quickly and move on. Repeated apologies cause further embarrassment.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/11/2014 08:00

Where do you think the silly comments come from? Attempting humour? Nerves? Feeling obliged to fill silences? Mouth running ahead of brain?....

Herald · 25/11/2014 08:00

I have a habit of doing the same , mainly when in an embarrassing situation and trying to appear funny. I did it last week when out with a new date with her friends and partners, no one laughed and if tumble weed had rolled past i wouldn't have been surprised.

Best to just forget about it and move on and next time try to think about what you are about to say before you do , it (sometimes) works for me...haha

WotchOotErAPolis · 25/11/2014 08:07

Probably am obsessing a bit. It might come back to haunt me when teacher comes next for guitar lesson with kids, but otherwise try to let it go. If he mentions it, I'll apologise, but if he says nothing, ignore & 'do not pass go / collect £200'?

OP posts:
WotchOotErAPolis · 25/11/2014 08:08

Herald - I've done the tumbleweed thing too. Not good.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/11/2014 08:09

So go on.... what was the adult comment? :)

Herald · 25/11/2014 08:11

It's not good , I spoke to my date afterwards and apologised , I think I do it in nervous situations. She was fine about it and thought my shock and apology was funnier than the original 'funny' comment.

Like you say ignore it and apologise if needed..

loveareadingthanks · 25/11/2014 08:24

Was it an accidental double entendre sort of thing? We all do it sometimes, don't worry about it.I'm the woman who, last weekend, got into a minibus full of men to sit in the last little space on a bench seat, and announced 'Shove up, Six inches isn't enough for my bum'. You can imagine.

Was it a misjudged 'joke' on purpose? I think you need to keep your audience in mind. Maybe the adults would have found it funny if no kids were about, but if you are leading an event with children you have to take responsibility for ensuring there's nothing the parents can complain about (kids themselves either find it hilarious or don't get the joke anyway, no harm no foul).

If it's nerves, then work on your presentation/leading an event skills. There's lots of techniques you can google. Even the most confident seeming workshop leader has had some nerves about it, they just have good ways of coping with it. I once hired a man who speaks at a high level all over the country, a real mover and shaker, one of his 'conditions' for speaking at my event was that it was near a swimming pool. He has to go and swim laps and get himself in the right frame of mind before he speaks or he falls to pieces (he told me). He was the most amazing speaker I've ever seen. I also have a few mental tricks and warm ups I do before I do anything like this. You need to find your own way of dealing with those feelings in advance.

bluetrain · 25/11/2014 09:50

OP - I love your username! Grin

I wouldn't mention it again, people might forget about it. or at least you can pretend they might have forgotten if it's never mentioned again.

ROUNDandROUNDINCIRCILESMORETHA · 25/11/2014 10:00

I have had a few of those moments makes some ppl laugh but i stand there like bridget jones would thinking oh fuck it i need to go right now

WotchOotErAPolis · 25/11/2014 14:26

Ok here goes - hypersensitivity radar at the ready: we were singing "simply the best" by the adorable Tina Turner and after we'd done a couple of run throughs of the first two lines "come to me, come to me wild & wired", one friend [who's Slovakian] asked me what that meant & I replied that it meant DH would be having a fun night when he got home. The kids were actually on the sofa messing about with each other so I don't think they even noticed, but the teacher went a bit quiet!

Blimey - now that I write it down it does seem a very silly thing to get embarrassed about really! I've said worse, I guess!

OP posts:
WotchOotErAPolis · 25/11/2014 14:27

bluetrain - you wouldn't be Glaswegian by any chance?!

OP posts:
IrishBloodEnglishHeart · 25/11/2014 14:33

Hahaha! I wouldn't worry about that. Jeez if anybody thought that was inappropriate they really need to get out more.

dadwood · 25/11/2014 14:35

I think that was clever code for explaining it to your Slovakian friend whilst leaving the children oblivious. not a faux pas!

I am always obsessing about whether I have upset or offended people. I have come to the conclusion that if you are intentions are good, people give you a lot of leeway for saying silly things (which you didn't really)

bluetrain · 25/11/2014 19:30

yes, indeed I am Polis! Grin

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