We split 3 yrs ago, we stayed in the same apartment for 1 year until he finally gave his permission for me to leave Sweden with our children and go home to my family after months of emotional tourment and putting up with his drunken nights out and his aggressive behaviour towards me and the kids.
He made a fuss a few months later because he couldn't afford to pay to come over very often and pay to stay in hotels so I made a deal with him that he could stay in my home providing he kept to an agreement of a visit once a month and stuck to it. Then in January I met someone and then it got difficult I had to give up my bed to him and stay with my partner as sofa wasn't any Good for sleeping on, come back next day and spend time with them etc but then he got comfortable and wanted me out of the way completely so I tried to give home more space. In the summer him and his mother had paid for us all to go on a family holiday although we erent together we thought we could manage it, up until the holiday we had an understanding that we never say anything negative or horrible about each other to the kids, now they spent the whole holiday interfering and not so much as letting me talk to them or tell them what to do, I hated it and there was so much disloyalty going on that my opinion has changed.
Their father went to Borneo after and the visited end of October, announcing that he wants to take them for Christmas the whole week and every other year, I said no I don't want to spend Christmas without the kids and that he was welcome to come and spend Christmas here like last year, now he has warmed to the idea, he announces that he will come 23-27th Dec and take them to Sweden for 8 days after.
I don't trust him he's already planned it with his mum, he didn't ask just told me, when is said no he said you have to I have rights. My children are 5&9yrs they don't want to go and my youngest won't last two days without me and he doesn't really know them. Plus he does dumb things like let my 9 yr old take her sister to the local shop so I don't trust him either.
I'm wondering what my rights are do I automatically have sole custody as we have been in the UK for over 2 yrs, they still have Swedish passports. Can he take them, what if I agreed and he never brought them back? I think they are too young is my argument, when they are older I will let them go with him but now is not the time.
Please any advice, can I get anything set in stone with a lawyer? What would you do?