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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't get what he means

42 replies

giinny91 · 23/11/2014 08:20

Me: I love you and I just want to make things work better. If I stop caring and just let everything slide then we'll be ok right? ^^

Him: Doesn't seem to matter anyways.

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 23/11/2014 08:23

Any more info? You're asking a lot only providing one sentence!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 23/11/2014 08:23

Regardless of the meaning behind his words, he does not seem at all bothered anyway. Why flog what is perhaps a dead horse here?.

I would also read up on co-dependency within a relationship also.

however · 23/11/2014 08:37

I'm not actually sure what either of you means.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/11/2014 09:00

I'd take it on face value. 'I'll do what it takes' vs 'I don't care' usually means it's over

jakesmith · 23/11/2014 09:09

Very cryptic post really

Drumdrum60 · 23/11/2014 09:11

I don't understand your message. What are you letting slide? Doesn't sound positive. Not sure he understood either so he sent a petulant reply.

calzone · 23/11/2014 09:11

I don't get what either of you mean. Confused

You are going to let everything slide and it doesn't matter to him anyway.

Walk away.

Finola1step · 23/11/2014 09:12

Difficult to tell from so little detail. But from what you have provided, he's really not that bothered.

BirdhouseInYourSoul · 23/11/2014 09:13

He seems to be saying that what ever you do won't matter because it's over.

You shouldn't have to left things slide to make it work if they are important to you though. Don't lower your standards to fit his.

Blu · 23/11/2014 09:16

If you don't know what he means, ask him.

And if this is by text, talk.

But really listen: do not try and get him to say what you want him to say , or find your own interpretation in what he says. Express your own feelings and then listen to his.

Tobyjugg · 23/11/2014 09:42

There's not a lot to go on but it sounds to me like he's had enough of (a) the conversation, (b) trying to make the relationship work and (c) you (sorry to be brutal).

Time for you to move on, I think.

giinny91 · 23/11/2014 10:17

So this is basically what happened.
We loved each other a lot but then things started to happen. First he told me why I never tell him things. When I started to show him my emotions, he got annoyed and tired. Then I stopped, i just held everythingg inside and sometimes post sad songs on facebook. Then again he didn't like it. So I don't really know what to do. That's why I told I him maybe if I stop caring too much then things will get better. I think I'll just let him go. I'm tired of his confusing personalities and he also got commitment issues based on what I've seen.

OP posts:
giinny91 · 23/11/2014 10:20

before that he said this:

Don't worry Ginny. I've just been more busy than usual because it's midterm season right now for me so I'm an even worse boyfriend than you're probablly used to, and I apologize. Everything just feels awkward to me. thats all. I'm sorry. So don't feel like that.

I don't know why he feels awkward. what is so awkward between me and him...? i don't understand.

OP posts:
giinny91 · 23/11/2014 10:21

and I agree with you guys. he doesn't seem to bother. time to move on I guess.

OP posts:
hesterton · 23/11/2014 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

giinny91 · 23/11/2014 10:31

I really tried. I did tell him: hey I feel like this, like that. I need you to...but he just response in short replies and doesn't seem to care at all.
It is painful but I need to remember to breath for myself too right. I bought him couple keychains, bought him cute stuffs to make him happy. I was always there when he was tired. I don't know what else could I have done. I'm walking away!

OP posts:
hesterton · 23/11/2014 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

makeitabetterplace · 23/11/2014 10:35

Honestly, he sounds like he's not that into the relationship and you sound like you're trying to force him into caring. You're one step off dumping him to see if he reacts. I'd give this one up.

AnnieLobeseder · 23/11/2014 10:36

Sorry, but it sounds like you're flogging a dead horse. And there's no point in trying to force a relationship with someone who doesn't want one. It gives them free reign to walk all over you while you take their crap in a pointless effort to make them love you. It's not healthy for anyone, and a relationship can't work without mutual love and respect.

Breaking up and moving on is hard, but you need to do it. Your life will be infinitely better for it, I promise.

JustSpeakSense · 23/11/2014 10:36

Couples key chains? Confused

Finola1step · 23/11/2014 10:38

It all does sound like a lot if hard work for very little return.

Might be best to walk away from this one and spend a bit of time by yourself.

giinny91 · 23/11/2014 10:39

Yes they look like this :D
i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTYwMFgxMjAw/z/iOUAAOxyyq5TMOmU/$_57.JPG

Ok guys, i'm walking away just silently. I won't even say a word

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 23/11/2014 10:50

Oh good lord. I'm sorry, OP, but those key rings would make you look very needy in a relationship that was struggling. I think you're doing the right thing by walking away.

Seriouslyffs · 23/11/2014 10:50

Good Luck giinny91!
Do think about what you'd like in a partner and don't rush into a new relationship. What are your circumstances, what are you looking for?

Hissy · 23/11/2014 10:51

how old are you both?

wtf are you doing posting sad songs on FB. why would you do that to your friwnds/him/etc? why inflict that crap on others?

if you need to talk about sometjing, talk about it. if a person won't listen to you, or get irritated, find someone who DOES care enough to be there for the good and the bad.

or if you're making a habit of it, then have a word with yourself. stop it and work on whatever it is that's frustrating you.

you sound as if you could be making his life a misery by going on and on, or worse hinting at your sadness and expecting him/everyone to rush and say "Aw, hun...."

you can fix your life if you want to.

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