Advice PLEASE

[fifi39]

*I posted this in chat but a couple of posters recommended I also posted here**

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After the loss of my mother late last year I had to take a significant period of time off work and I returned 9 weeks ago to a new team and more importantly- a new manager who I get on quite well with (similar age, children similar age, similar interests etc). Can't say I feel the same way about the rest of the team but that is another matter.

I've been having a very tough time as of late as i'm living with an abusive partner. I've been coming into work quite upset which is causing some upset to other people at work. I've told my manager very small bits and bobs- and despite her telling me she is there if I need to talk, for a friendly hug or whatever I can't but help feel i'm infuriating her- if anyone else is around I feel like she ignores me and tries to get me out of the way. I can't tell if this is supportive or not. I'd hate to make her feel awkward/uncomfortable and in a way I feel I already have.

I've never really had much support past my mum and it's difficult for me to trust anyone due to my past. I can't ever say i've had a "true" friend bar one or two people and I can count on one hand the number of people i've felt have offered me love and support.

I'm really not coping though and feel like I need to a) unload b) explain why i've been so messed up lately.

What would you do? Tell her and risk making what could potentially be awkward politeness even worse or keep quiet?

Fifi39 I can't say much about the bf except you should just get rid - sooner rather than later, preferably before Christmas.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum. I lost mine 4 yrs ago - poorly at beginning of December and passed away mid February. From experience I can say it's an awful time for you and it's no surprise you feel like you do and the run up to Christmas won't be much fun. However it's something you have to get through - and you will - and once you've got through that first full year things will start to seem a bit less bleak.

I would stay with your job and try to focus on the positives. Make a list. Tell work colleagues you're going through a shitty time, but try to laugh about stuff as much as you can. Try to think upbeat. You have your ds to think of (goes without saying).

As I said - make a list, keep busy, do stuff with ds, do stuff for yourself. And if you get upset, so what, it's happened, you'll get less so as time goes on.