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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wedding ring...when do I stop wearing it?

14 replies

Jezzabelle · 21/11/2014 17:50

I separated from my DH 4 weeks ago. When did you stop wearing your ring? I love my ring. It's also the only jewellery I wear, (apart from the occasional piece of costume jewellery on a night out). He's away visiting his new girlfriend this weekend....I know, I probably should just take the thing off! I don't want him back, but it seems so symbolic and final. I don't want my DDs (8 and 6) to ask why either, (although they are clearly aware that we have separated!) Maybe I'm just being silly.

OP posts:
vulgarwretch · 21/11/2014 17:52

If you love it, I'd just wear it on the other hand.

FelicityGubbins · 21/11/2014 17:53

Wear it on your right hand instead Smile

vulgarwretch · 21/11/2014 17:54

Although you might be overthinking your children's reaction. Do you think they would notice?

Frenchfemme · 21/11/2014 17:55

There is no reason at all to stop wearing it if you don't want to - it's yours, you like it and it suits you. Nothing to do with anyone else. You may eventually want to look into having it resized to wear on another hand/finger, but that is your choice.

Buttercupsanddaisys · 21/11/2014 18:07

Nah, I don't think you're being silly, at allSmile

You love your ring, so wear it. It gives a solid message to your dds that they are the product of a (once) loving relationship and just because their dad isn't at home with you all now, that original relationship still holds good and signals some continuity. And that's good for them.Smile

orangefusion · 21/11/2014 18:15

When it feels right?

handfulofcottonbuds · 21/11/2014 18:19

You'll know when and if you're ready.

I changed mine to my right hand but it didn't feel right. I eventually took them off when bizarrely, I developed eczema on my ring finger and couldn't wear them anymore - first time I ever had that!

I did but myself a lovely ring to go on my middle finger though as I didn't realise how much I fiddled with my wedding/engagement ring.

I'm sorry you're going through this Thanks

Jezzabelle · 21/11/2014 18:33

Thank you all. Strangely, it doesn't fit on my right hand! (Just tried). I thought that maybe when the time does feel right, I might take my DDs to Brighton for a weekend and ask them to help me choose a ring from the vintage shops in the lanes, so I can wear another ring with significance on my middle finger. Not sure if I'll do that, but I guess from what you've all said, it's not too weird to carry on wearing it until I'm ready. Thank you.

OP posts:
StarvingBookworm · 21/11/2014 20:58

DH ended our marriage 6 months ago. I still wear my wedding ring. Like you I don't wear other jewellery, and my DCs (age 5 and 3) fiddle with it on my finger a lot. I've tried taking it off but it feels too big a step still, my finger feels "light" without it. I'll keep it on longer, although I do take it off every so often to see if I feel differently.

Zebraface · 21/11/2014 21:40

I may sound a bit harsh but mine came off straight away....vows broken,ring never ending circle 'as a token of our love' void.

Sorry you are going through this...perhaps when your heart tells you its over.

alongcamespiders · 21/11/2014 21:46

We split last November I stopped wearing mind on New Years day. It felt right, any earlier felt too soon and obvious symbolism with NYD.

Sickoffrozen · 21/11/2014 22:03

Straight away with me. I have since sold it and my engagement ring. Paid for a nice family holiday Smile

Rioux · 21/11/2014 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieKaye · 21/11/2014 22:40

About a week later when it sunk in that it really was over.
I wore a wedding band, engagement ring and eternity ring - and to me they represented something that was no longer true.

And then later on realised they were just rings... given to me by a man I no longer had any respect for. Not even sure where they are now.

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