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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Problems in the bedroom

11 replies

Synatics · 21/11/2014 12:02

Hi, I'm a guy in a relationship of three months and me and my girlfriend have recently run into the issue that we every time we have sex it hurts afterward for her. Having recently gone through that honeymoon stage of jumping each others bones whenever we had the chance, we now find ourselves having sex maybe once a week. Whilst sex is by no means the only part of the relationship, I feel it should be a fairly important one. She frequents these forums and passes a few links on to me, many being enlightening and amusing. So I thought a few of those opinions may help here? Medically I'm almost certain there's nothing wrong with either of us and she puts it down to the fact she "tenses up" because in the previously mentioned honeymoon phase we did get to a point where it hurt because of a UTI, promptly gave it a rest for a few days, got some antibiotics and it was all fine. Now she seems to expect it to hurt and puts it down to that? I would be very grateful if anyone may have experienced similar issues with a partner?

OP posts:
Mugg1ns · 21/11/2014 12:26

Fibroids ?

Beanie99 · 21/11/2014 12:31

Surely you should still be in the honeymoon stage after only 3 months. Can you GF make an appointment to see her GP?

gamerchick · 21/11/2014 12:32

Your girlfriend posts on here?

BuzzardBird · 21/11/2014 12:35

Are you being a little [ahem] vigorous?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/11/2014 13:01

If she's experiencing pain during or after intercourse then she should see a GP. In the meantime, if she's tense during sex, spend a lot longer on foreplay and a lot less time on PIV. Inadequate arousal can also lead to internal dryness and that can result in pain on penetration. Do not carry on if there is pain

TheHermitCrab · 21/11/2014 13:02

If you've tried all the usual, more foreplay, being gentle, lube...etc and she had no pain before, I'd recommend seeing a doc :/

Twinklestein · 21/11/2014 13:23

Another possibility is that she may have a short vagina. If you're long enough to hit the top it can cause pain.

Synatics · 21/11/2014 13:29

I would say the honeymoon period would still be going on but this issue sort of stopped it dead in its tracks. We've tried lube, with/without condom, and I always do my very best in the foreplay department. After seeing a doctor regarding the UTI, I think she feels it would be a waste of time to go to the doctor again but perhaps the kind words will persuade her it's worth getting checked.

Thanks.

OP posts:
TheHermitCrab · 21/11/2014 13:32

I think if you go to the doctor and say "I think I have a UTI" they check your urine, and if you do, jobs a good un.

If you go in and say "sex hurts, it never used to, nothing has changed..I'm confused...etc" then the examination becomes more detailed.

There are various conditions, infections or anything that can cause inflammation that can do unnoticed unless irritated.

TheHermitCrab · 21/11/2014 13:32

go unnoticed*

Synatics · 21/11/2014 13:40

Sound reasoning, thanks.

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