Hi, not even sure why I'm writing this but just need to get it off my chest.
When my Dh and I were first seeing eachother 8 years ago we were abit on and off / casual. We spilt up a few times and both slept with other people. We are both aware this happened and we both grew up alot, got together properly and are now very happily married with 2 fab dc.
A man (older by 20 years) I got briefly involved with at the time of casual relationship has been playing on my mind. One night I had been out drinking with him and a group of mutual friends and I did get very drunk. I got a taxi back with him and went to his house. At this point we had not slept together but had done sexual acts. I can not remember anything further from that night apart from several flashbacks of him on top of me having sex. I was naked the next morning.
I continued to see this man for several weeks after. I didn't get these flashbacks for several months later and they make me feel sick.
I guess I don't really know what happened that night, I could have easily consented in my drunk state I guess. It may not have even happened? I can't really talk to anyone about this as I don't really want it dragging up and I don't want to talk to my husband about it. It seems to be bothering me every once in a while when something makes me think of it. It is not affecting my life in any way and the man does not live anywhere near me anymore. I just needed to tell someone.