You say
"I'd just like to add, I only asked this as is we can sort the rows, it will stop the rest x"
The problem with that is that even if you never rowed, you'd be afraid to row. You'd have totally lost your voice in the relationship wouldn't you. So if by some miracle you got to a place where you never rowed anymore, would that be because you genuinely totally agreed on every subject all the time, or because you had adapted your behaviour to fit in around him? In other words, he would have trained you to put up and shut up.
My x didn't just walk up to me and hit me out of the blue either you know! It was like you describe. There were things I wasn't happy with, things I felt weren't fair to me (and they weren't). But whenever I said my name wasn't on the mortgage and I was vulnerable or whenever I said I wanted to work and get my own mortgage or whenever I said I wanted a joint account and not to have to justify and explain my visa bill to him, he just got angry.
He never ever heard me. He had his position. Things were set up how he wanted them and they were never going to change. No matter how many times we rowed. It took me a while to see that.
It wasn't a discussion. It was a deliberate manoeuvre on his part to frighten me in to dropping the subject(s). Occasionally when I felt so weary I couldn't challenge him on any of the issues that worried me about my future and I just plodded along with no mojo, no joy, he would cheerfully observe that we were getting on 'really well'. That down-trodden miserable jaded depressed version of me with no fight left in her, that was the me he liked the best.
Like you, our rows could not be resolved because I was so worried about my life and he was so determined not to 'give' an inch, therefore, the physical aggression came at the end of a heated row. Therefore I minimised it with self-reassurances that he was only violent because he was frustrated. But why was he frustrated by a woman that wanted to be treated with respect? Why did it frustrate him to recognise that I was vulnerable and that the relationship wasn't equal? Because, precisely because he wanted an unequal relationship, he wanted a relationship with a woman who he could disrespect.
So don't minimise the physical aggression by saying it happens only when he is frustrated! Not only should he not manifest his frustration through violence, but why is he frustrated by your 'voice'.. what is it about what you want that makes him so frustrated? I am not saying your situation must be similar to mine but is what you're asking for in these arguments so very unreasonable? Or is it that you can't make an unreasonable man show reason.