Men and sex in relationships

[IrianofWay]

"In fact, I would argue that for many men, myself included, a woman's skill in all the other areas of life means very little when it comes to the cloud of this issue. I have seen it first hand. A woman will try to 'make up' for something lacking sexually by being a better...cook, cleaner, conversationalist, mother, etc. All of those things are nice to have in a woman who is already sexually fulfilling a man. But if the sex department isn't good, none of that other stuff really matters."

Have taken this almost verbatim from a relationships forum. I have seen this sentiment in many different form on there but this seems to sum it up. BTW "something lacking sexually" according the the other posts on the thread means not being prepared to do certain sex acts or not being enthusiastic enough, rather than never having sex. It's being given as a reason for infidelity in certain cases.

What this seems to be saying that no matter what a woman does, no matter how much or how little she personally enjoys sex (the right KIND of sex no less), no matter how much of herself she pours into the other areas of her relationship, no matter how many other things she may want or simply HAVE to put effort into (parenthood and career for example) her mans penis and her attention to it is the most important thing in her marriage.

Fucking depressing! Is that the way most men really feel? Or have I just been living in cloud cuckoo land all these years?

I'm pretty sure there are plenty of men who think that women are only worth entertaining provided they are agreeing to sex all the time. I'm also pretty sure the type of man expressing that view is the grubby, selfish, chauvinistic type that doesn't have much luck finding a girlfriend.....

I think men tend to do the exact opposite and very often settle because of timing. The time is right to think about a LTR and some men favour women who seem less experienced and less interested in sex than they are because they perceive these women as less of a risk. It then legitimises their right to moan about lack of sex, or lack of adventure and eventually excuses their right to seek sex elsewhere.

Mini thats a very insightful post.

My ex believed that.

Hence 'ex'. He lives alone now. :-)

The tone of the quote irritated me but I was prompted to actually post it here because of the number of threads on this board recently that appear to back up his claims - men who have affairs, sulk, get angry, because their God-given right to sex is being denied. Logic and my personal experience suggest he isn't 'normal'.

Does it work the other way round? If a blokes a crap shag does he 'make up' for it by not forgetting to put the bins out? Cutting the grass before it reaches knee height? Put shelves up that are actually level?

But there are almost the same number of threads with women complaining about their male OH's lack of interest in sex.
So, obviously not all men need sex to live and some seem to prefer not having it (at least with their partners).

There is also the reverse. When men don't perform sexually as women would like them to. Don't give orgasms, are too quick, etc.
Do they also compensate?

What is wrong with his position is summarised in this sentence "...in a woman who is already sexually fulfilling a man."
Where is the sexual fulfillment for the woman?
It simply sees women as tools for sexual fulfillment of men. Or rather wankers, because that's what they are doing, not having proper sexual relationships.

True lweji.