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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

panic

9 replies

Andifyoudontfirstsucceed · 17/11/2014 22:10

You know when things feel out of control? I feel that now. My husband is never home - always at work - or uni. I just feel like we no longer connect. I am sitting here panicing over being alone - and what I can do about it. I have really let myself go over the last 6 months (miscarry mom has cancer always alone) and have gained a lot of weight. Hubby lets me know this. We are barely ever intimate - and when we are its rather quick and all about him - when I tried to ask to spice it up - got a no...

Just dont really know what to do and am sat here near tears over it...

OP posts:
Walkacrossthesand · 17/11/2014 22:56

I'm sorry. How long have you been married/together? Looking back, when & how did things start to go wrong? Can you talk to DH about how you are feeling?

Ihatechoosingausername · 17/11/2014 23:01

At least you've got a partner. I'm sat here 40+4 weeks pregnant and i'm always f*cking alone

Twinklestein · 17/11/2014 23:03

I'm not sure that a crap partner is better than none.

Tinks42 · 17/11/2014 23:05

well time to take control of "yourself" then OP. its a self fulfilling prophecy isnt it.

Tinks42 · 17/11/2014 23:09

Giving you a very loving "slap" here. You yourself think you have let yourself go, so you yourself can stop that.

Tinks42 · 17/11/2014 23:13

oh, Ihatechoosing, having a very hard time there. Its allowed to say youre lonely.

batmanandrobin · 17/11/2014 23:21

get some me time, maybe a massage, so you can relax and get your head straight. i have had a constant battle with eating disorders so feel the "let myself go" thing regularly.

im sorry to hear you miscarried, but maybe enhancing your lifestyle to become healthier may be a motivator if you're planning a next time. a few walks, maybe with DH so you can reconnect and chat together, or cooking a nice meal for the pair of you.

honestly always helps in relationships, let him know you acknowledge you may have "let yourself go" but that you're going to action change and would love his support.

best wishes xx

flapjackattack · 18/11/2014 00:25

It doesn't sound as though you've got a lot of support. That is going to compound loneliness when you have a variety of stresses upon you.
Other than husband who can you draw upon for support?

tallwivglasses · 18/11/2014 00:42

Your husband's a bit of a shit imho.

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