Hello - my ears twitched, and given I have nothing better to do but ponder divorce, here I am at your service.
The best thing I can recommend is to read Family Law Made Simple by Gordon and Slater - it has saved my sanity a few times because being divorcing by a twat is quite a challenge it transpires.
And, unless you have been divorced before, everything you think you know about divorce is probably not true. It's an eye-opener for sure.
It is not about who did what to whom but about separating the finances and making arrangements for the children.
Don't worry about understanding all the proceedings and terms, rights and entitlements at this point - it is a long process but not always a difficult one (apparently). Every divorce is unique so what you walk away with my be different from 'er next door, and 'im up the road. Your settlement will be tailored to your circumstances, your needs, his needs, but most important of all - your Ds's needs. It is, of course, limited by the size of the pot being carved up.
If you have a solicitor-led divorce (as oppose to DIY-ing) then make sure they are FAMILY law specialists not general solicitors. Don't worry if you're not happy with the one you see tomorrow, treat it like an interview and make appointments with others. If he's going to be a nasty bully, you need to work with someone who gives you confidence and compassion, but mostly manages all the shit that gets thrown at you.
The onus is on you and he (or your solicitors if that's the route you go down) to sort things out amongst yourselves. Most divorces don't get to the courthouse, and even if they do, then it's only to sort out the bits that you can't agree (FDA/FDR hearings). You have to be very, very, very unlucky to go to a 'Final Hearing' where the whole of your life is discussed in your presence to a judge and you get the joy of being cross-examined. I am very unlucky because I married a twat who does not like to be told what to do so we are still trying to get full and frank disclosure...
That means you are entitled to receive copies of all bank accounts, savings, investments for the last twelve months without a judge needing to order it, so if he's got assets you don't know about, it's likely to be revealed in there...Of course, if he doesn't fully and frankly disclose, then there are some very persuasive laws that the judge can impose at FDA/FDR. And after separation, if he goes on a spending spree of an unreasonable nature, then them laws things get invoked again...
However, when divorcing a twat (or being divorced by a twat), and if you're struggling emotionally, getting a solicitor (and paying the cost) is essential.
A 'normal' divorce (solicitor-ed) costs between 5 - 10K, but may be more, e.g. he's got a business or complicated financial arrangements. Don't worry if you don't have an income, as there's Novitas Loans (litigation loans). The APR is staggering, but it does mean that until you get a lump sum, you can pay your legal team.
Hope this helps.