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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New relationship - but he may be gay?

30 replies

missannab77 · 16/11/2014 00:28

Ladies of mumsnet - I need your advice!

I've been talking to a guy for the last 6 or so months after we met online. We meet up around once a month for a date, and we chat on text every day. We planned a weekend away in a couple of weeks (first time sleeping together)
He's younger than me - his early twenties to my mid thirties, but I am recently out of a 12 year relationship, so we're taking it slow.

But he's just dropped a huge bombshell. He says he has spent the last week texting a guy he just met online who is offering to give him oral sex, and he is curious about it. The more we chatted, the more I realised that he's really considering this proposition.

It's not even the fact that there is someone else he has been talking to, we agreed to be casual. Rather it's the fact it's another guy. I just can't get my head around it. He keeps insisting he is 100% straight, but curious which is why he wants to do it.

I'm totally confused about what to think, do and say to him......

OP posts:
Windywinston · 16/11/2014 07:55

Well he's not "100% straight" is he, but maybe he doesn't know himself, you say he's young.

It's a casual relationship, now's the time to leave it if you're uncomfortable with who he is.

Joysmum · 16/11/2014 09:05

If you're not exclusive and only meet up once a month he can do what he wants.

I think the talk you need to have is not about being gay, but about what your relationship with him is.

I personally think a good proportion of people wonder what sex with the same sex will be like but not necessarily do anything about it.

Riverland · 16/11/2014 10:39

juvenile sex bingo

Grin
SelfLoathing · 16/11/2014 11:41

Where do you see this going?

He's very young both generally and for you. Early 20s is sooooo young. Is it just a bit of fun for you? You say its casual.

If so, why does it really matter? As long as he is having safe sex with you and others, if he's bisexual it shouldn't really be an issue if its just about a bit of occasional companionship and casual sex.

If you are looking for something more long term and stable, he's probably not the right guy so ditch him.

handfulofcottonbuds · 16/11/2014 11:55

How would you feel if he said he was meeting another woman for a BJ? Would it bother you even though your relationship is casual?

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