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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dh "forgetting" about dd2

11 replies

Runawayandjointhecircus · 15/11/2014 19:42

I went out this afternoon with ds and dd1. I left dd2 napping at home with dh. I asked him not to let her sleep much longer as she wouldn't sleep at bedtime. Got home at 5. He told me he'd only just for her up as he'd "forgotten" she was there! He doesn't even seem to think this is irresponsible! I'm fuming. He is so lazy sometimes and I feel like this is a perfect example! Would this annoy other people? Am I just being super sensitive?

OP posts:
Pastmyduedate0208 · 15/11/2014 19:47

no this is more than annoying.
Also, that he needs 'instructing' on how to take care of his dd is weird, does he not realise himself about oversleeping during the day?
That would make me feel like the only responsable adult in the family.

Is this a pattern of behaviour?

Skiingmaniac · 15/11/2014 19:50

I would let him do bedtime with her tonight.....good luck to him!

FamiliesShareGerms · 15/11/2014 19:51

As a one off, not really an issue. But as part of a pattern it's not on

addictedtosugar · 15/11/2014 19:55

So, he could have decided to pop out for a swift pint with his mates, and left his daughter sleeping in bed by herself?

Forgetting how time had passed, I'd have made him do bedtime.
Forgetting she was there, I'd be furious.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 15/11/2014 20:00

Oh be sensible people, he didn't forget she was there, he chose not to wake her because he was enjoying what he was doing more. I think, as harsh as it sounds, we have all been there - especially if we aren't the ones doing bedtime.

Runway he's on bedtime duty and she is not to be brought downstairs and you are on Wine

There has to be a consequence to selfish behaviour, this one has an obvious one :)

strawberryshoes · 15/11/2014 20:04

I would be pissed off.

Sleep is precious, as is evening relax time, you might potentially lose both because he enjoyed a quiet afternoon child free, allowing her to sleep.

He is on bedtime duty tonight while you run a bath get some wine and a good book and let hm deal with the aftermath.

livelablove · 15/11/2014 20:12

I agree with letting him do bedtime but I wouldn't make it sound like giving him a consequence, just say you are so tired from the long day out and can he do bedtime.

lunar1 · 15/11/2014 20:14

He won't have forgotten her he just won't have wanted to have to look after her.

Dh used to do shitty things like this. The only way they stop is if you make them deal with every consequence of their actions.

Every time dh woke them up shouting at the football in the evening I'd take my self for a bath till he got them back to sleep.

Every time he'd fill them up with sweets I'd leave him to give them tea and deal with their loopy behaviour.

To be honest it felt like training a puppy but it worked, dh is
Much more considerate now he knows he will have to deal with the fallout!

Runawayandjointhecircus · 15/11/2014 20:41

Thanks for all the replies. All those who say e didn't really forget her you are quite right - he was having a nice relaxing afternoon and as was napping happily, the forgetting was an excuse. But I am taking some deep breaths and having a glass of wine. Dh HAS had a really tough week at work if I'm being fair...

OP posts:
ChippingInAutumnLover · 15/11/2014 20:52

Is she asleep yet?

Runawayandjointhecircus · 15/11/2014 21:12

Amazingly yes! And dh did bedtime so that's good.

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