Total idiot

[Iamsuchamuppet]

I used to think marriage should always be given a chance, if it's non abusive. I think I was wrong. My oh didn't cheat exactly but had issues with chatting to women online, porn etc. I forgave and I think 3 years later we are back here again. I should have walked last time. I won't be online again tonight as tired and bloody miserable so going to try and sleep. Just wanted to say this really as can't chat to anyone in rl yet.

At least you won't be saying 'I regret not trying' because you walked away too soon (for you). This time, kick him out.

You tried to make it work and you can feel proud about that. So now you can move on knowing there is nothing more you could have done and it's the right thing to do.

Thank you for comments. I'm not doing anything right now as though I'm really really hurt my dh is in the middle of building an extension among other home improvements and he can bloody well finish them before we split up!

You will have swept it under the carpet by the time he finishes the building work

I agree with AF.

Maybe by the extension etc has been finished you will have all your ducks in a row so you can start divorce proceedings (put some money away, prep with solicitor, etc).

Maybe I will AF and Windy, fact is I can't afford this mortgage on my own with my debts and various other expenses despite working full time. DCs are grown up so won't get any support. Not interested in further relationships after this so may as well just stay here but do what I like in future.

How depressing

If your financial situation is such that neither of you can leave straight away, can you not confront the situation and ask him to move into a spare room if you have one, until you're in a position to sell. Stop doing his washing/cleaning etc - if separation is your ultimate goal.

The problem with doing nothing is that, sadly, it sends a message that it's ok for him to continue what he's doing. What's his incentive to stop (except for simply common decency, but it appears he doesn't have that in spades). Of course even if he stopped it all now, what's done is done and he can't take that back.

It's not so depressing to be honest. DH works shifts so I get plenty of time home without him. I do have a spare room since DD moved out but DS still lives here.