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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you get your XH a present?

13 replies

Stupidhead · 11/11/2014 12:06

From you or the DCs?

Just wondering. If you don't get on? Mine was EA, controlling, alki arsehole. The second year after the split I gave the DCs £30 to spend on something for me and him. They bought him a 50p bar of chocolate and spent the rest on me. The past few years DP's boss gives his staff a litre bottle of whisky each - we HATE whisky - so the DCs take that to give to their dad. As far as I'm aware he thinks I've bought it...

I do remind them every year about Fathers Day, his birthday and Christmas.

I get nothing from him btw - Not that I'd want anything Confused

OP posts:
FTS123 · 11/11/2014 12:17

Big birthdays recently for me and STBXH, I got him a nice present from the kids, he got me a rubbish one and didn't even get me a card from the kids...last year I got a bottle of bath foam that I found in their overnight bag. Not that I want anything at all, it's just that I put effort into it for the kids that's the end if that anyway!

NickiFury · 11/11/2014 12:18

Yes from dc's. They can't do it themselves and they want to give him something so I facilitate that.

BertieBotts · 11/11/2014 12:21

God, no. I would give DS some money to get his dad a gift if he wanted to, though, but if he was too young to ask then I'd just get him to make a picture or card or something. He doesn't see him though so no I don't. He doesn't bother to get DS anything.

I'm a bit Shock that you encourage your children to give their alcoholic dad alcohol though, TBH. Donate it to the school christmas fair or something instead!

gamerchick · 11/11/2014 12:26

Christ no. He still thinks he's coming back when I've come to my senses and dumped the husband.. I'm doing nothing to encourage that Hmm

SilentAllTheseYears · 11/11/2014 12:28

Of course, usually something like this is suitable.

Stupidhead · 11/11/2014 12:37

Bertie! I know...I'm a bit bad...
DS1 is 17 and tells him every year not to drink it until they've gone home.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 11/11/2014 12:39

Oh 17 isn't so bad. I had visions of you sending a 3 and 7 year old off with a giant bottle of whisky Grin

Stupidhead · 11/11/2014 12:41

Haha! It's trying to persuade the 14 yr old not to top it up with Optrex which is the major problem! Apparently it causes sudden squits Confused

OP posts:
Stupidhead · 11/11/2014 12:42

Yup! Silent!

OP posts:
TheHermitCrab · 11/11/2014 12:45

Your ex was an alki so you send your DCs to him with a litre of whiskey as a present?????

Anyway. At 17 your DC should be able to make the choice on whether they want to get him a present or not, their choice. As for you he requires nothing from you?

TheHermitCrab · 11/11/2014 12:46

there shouldn't be a "?" at the end. Just "he requires nothing from you"

Stupidhead · 11/11/2014 12:53

I don't want anything from him Hermit. If the DCs didn't take the whisky he wouldn't get anything from them either. They are asked and reminded every year for every occasion and they don't want to do anything. I can't give it to school fairs as the DCs are older and at secondary school - no fairs. I don't have anyone to give it to. If it was anything other than whisky then we'd keep it.

OP posts:
SilentAllTheseYears · 11/11/2014 15:48

It makes a good toilet cleaner apparently.....removes lime scale and kills germs. Your toilet may be a more worthy recipient.....Grin

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