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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Seperated husband pulling women in same pub as i am in.

17 replies

notmrscookie · 09/11/2014 10:14

Left on the 8 september and has been a right prat since. Moved into his mums who has two spare bedrooms but he want have the kids as he needs his nights out or i quote his life is not worth living.
He had a lads weekend away and brought a girl back to the caravan and all the other dads 10 of them keeping his secret until he went back up to cardiff to meet her. Difficult year more emotional friends and i chuck him out.
OMG he has had son for 2 nights and a few meals and then comes round which i have put a stop to now as it was a change to gloat about his weekend activies of pulling tarts.
Anyway last weekend i went out on a belated 40th party for myself and after a while he was in with a friend and didn't see me and then starts chatting to two girls .He hits it off with one of them and buys drinks etc and kisses her . See me and upps tempo and they both wave at me . I stay for a bit and leave and then his mates wife rings complaining about it and informs me he went back to hers etc.
was out last night and i saw him in the pub window out with another girl. He says its wrong but just carrys on ..

I ended up putting myself at risk last night walking home alone so i didn.t have to see him in person. and the night before i got so drunk it was dangerous . How do i cope

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 09/11/2014 11:23

OP you need to accept the fact that he can date, kiss, chat to whoever he likes. He is single. It's nothing to do with you.

Aussiemum78 · 09/11/2014 11:28

Don't talk to his mates wives, go to another pub. Just remove yourself from the drama.

noddyholder · 09/11/2014 11:29

Go elsewhere. Behave like adults, you already have children.

SandyJ2014 · 09/11/2014 11:31

What a wanker. Remove yourself from the drama he is creating by trying not to go out to the same places if possible and being breezy (not caring) about what he does. You will get over this. You will move on eventually. It is fucking hard though. Flowers

BitterHoneyGreenNight · 09/11/2014 11:36

He sounds like a bit of a twat all round.

But the previous poster is correct. He is not in a relationship with you longer so who gets off with is really none of your business. He doesn't have to explain or justify his sex life to you.

Distance yourself from this man. Do not let him come round to your house if his visits upset you. Sort out access arrangements for your kids so you only see him briefly at pick up and drop offs.

He is not responsible for you getting drunk or for you choosing to walk home alone. I know that seeing him acting that way must have been upsetting. But it really is none of your concern.

ChoochiWoo · 09/11/2014 11:39

Start going to a different pub, his mates wife sounds like a stirrer, why would you want to know?

WrappedInABlankie · 09/11/2014 11:42

Why are they tarts? He's single she's single I assume? Not really tarts.

Just ignore it, be the adult.

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle · 09/11/2014 11:44

You sound very angry.

I'd just avoid the pub for a while if I were you. You won't see him and you won't put yourself at risk either walking home or getting drunk.

Vivacia · 09/11/2014 11:47

Stay safe - physically and emotionally. If you can't do this when you're in these certain pubs and drinking alcohol then don't go there.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 09/11/2014 11:56

You are separated for a reason and that reason is probably because he's a Grade A prat. It's time to start disentangling yourself from caring what he does and with whom. Easy to say but hard to do, I know. He's a single man now and you don't own him or his behaviour. If you can't face up to him deliberately rubbing your nose in it, find a different pub.

If you got so drunk it was dangerous you need to own it, because no-one forced you to get bladdered. You did that of your own free will. Two young kids don't deserve to have a mother in self-destruct-mode.

Castlemilk · 09/11/2014 12:34

Urgh, he sounds like a complete twat! Well done on shedding him.

Ignore. Drink elsewhere. When you do come face to face with his nonsense, use it as affirmation - yes, you were RIGHT to throw him out.

Mind you - waving at you? - I'd be so tempted to make up a little sign, marker pen in BIG letters, readable by leggy lovelies across the most crowded of bars - to be whipped out of your bag at a moment's notice:

I DUMPED HIM
HE LIVES WITH HIS MUM
HE DOESN'T SEE HIS KIDS
GOOD LUCK!

Grin
Castlemilk · 09/11/2014 12:35

Meant to say - one dose of that with the latest squeeze and he'd be out the pub door like a whippet the second he laid eyes on you :)

Rebecca2014 · 09/11/2014 12:41

Why are they tarts? he is single.

I know it hurts, my ex was horrible to me but I still be hurt if I saw him with someone else. Time is the healer but I start by not going to the same pub as him.

SassyPasty · 09/11/2014 12:51

See, when they waved, I would have waved back but just by waggling my baby finger and mouthing the words 'have fun, love' Grin

WrappedInABlankie · 09/11/2014 13:29

I know it hurts believe me but the woman aren't tarts because she broke up with her ex. I'd hate be called a tart for something that essentially isn't my fault

ChoochiWoo · 10/11/2014 13:46

I think using the word tart towards someone waving to provoke you is a slight understatement tbh.

WrappedInABlankie · 10/11/2014 14:20

How?

Do you know what he said to her? I'm not sticking up for him what so ever but you don't know he hasn't said "that's my friend so and so" so she waved

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