Going on housework strike?

[thebluehen]

Anyone done this and seen it through?

I'm feeling fed up of being taken for granted and not having my input acknowledged at best and criticised at worst.

I work full time and although dp does help out, with some things, I just want him and the kids to at least acknowledge what I do. I regularly thank and tell them that I appreciate what they do.

I just want the same sentiment returned. I've asked to have my input acknowledged and explained how I feel. I'm still waiting. I'm starting to think "consequences" are the way forward. Maybe then they'll notice.

Agree with others, you have to choose your battles. No point living in mess that effects you, you want to target your strike. I agree with laundry and cooking. Nobody likes to realise they have no clean pants or socks right before they have to go somewhere important, watch them rage about it, when they ask why, reply "well because you haven't washed any". Then begin the cooking offense if nothing changes, make yourself something nice, tell everybody else there is beans, bread, fruit etc. Don't buy anything they can attempt to cook and burn to pans or trash the kitchen with though, words of experience there.

How's it going OP?

If your kids are 11-18 they can do their own laundry. Allocate each of them a laundry day where they have use of the facilities and leave them to it. X

I think I need to sit down and discuss this with everyone.

Part of the problem is that not all of the children are mine and my dp doesn't want them upset in case they go and live with their mum.

There are 2 that have a better attitude and work hard at school and they do help out when asked. The others moan if asked to do the slightest thing.

It also doesn't help that they dictate how I should do their washing (with detailed written instructions from their mum - we pay for all their clothes ). I just feel like a housekeeper sometimes. They have also tell me they like their mums cooking and sneer at mine, whilst simultaneously finishing all the food on their plates.

I relented last night and washed some of dp's clothes. I also pulled out the full set of clothes that had been worn for less than 2 hours and told the offender off.

It sounds like bigger issues than just fair shares of chores. If I'd had that kind of attitude more than once from my step-daughter, I'd have picked up the plate and scraped it straight into the bin.

If you really want to sort this, you can't "relent" and do it anyway. I fully understand that stepkids give us different issues, but where is your DP in this? He needs to be stepping up to educate them in what is and isn't acceptable in a family.

It's all very well coming on here and having a moan, but you've trained them this way, and only you can train them out of it.

I'm male, I work full time, my wife works part time, and I do more than half the housework because my wife actually works longer hours when you include all the extra work she has to do at home due to the career she's in. I don't want a medal for it, it's just what needs to be done.

You have a serious DP problem.

Dictating how you do the washing! And you obey!!! Why?!!!

Look, if the DC go to live with their mum, that's his problem not yours.

Children should not be allowed to insult you, an adult, in your own home.

Sneering at your cooking is totally unacceptable. Why should you have to put up with being mistreated by children (and him) so that his ex doesn't "get" the children? No!

Are you walking on eggshells?

Why did you wash DP's clothes last night? What changed your mind?

My DC do chores in exchange for pocket money and lifts etc. They go without if they don't do their chores.

This works better than a strike.

As for your H - only do your own (and DC) laundry, ironing, cooking and shopping.

Well it's not dp that dictates how I do the washing, it's his ex wife and some of his kids. I don't "obey", I simply do what I've always done, whether that suits them or not.

I've done a couple of things from dp washing bin but I have 3 washing bins bursting with washing, there's plenty I haven't washed. My washing is completely up to date.

Dp won't agree to his kids doing chores for money or lifts. He agrees with me about getting them to do things but then doesn't enforce it. He says he "forgets" when I pull him on it.

He will pick up their slack rather than let them have the consequences. He cooked dinner the other night when if specifically asked him to get the 18 year old to buy it and cook it.

Going on strike feels rather childish but it might give everyone a "consequence", which they all seem to be sorely lacking.

Part of the problem is that not all of the children are mine and my dp doesn't want them upset in case they go and live with their mum.

Well, he better pull his finger out then.

How dare he allow them to treat you like this, and how dare you? I don't think this situations is at all funny.

OP if you have that attitude nothing will change.