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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it possible to legally separate and live in the same house

5 replies

whatisforteamum · 07/11/2014 21:43

Just that really .Another holiday from work for me and DH is golfing(he said he would cancel then realized he had been included in the line up)
With Dad about to go on chemo the last thing anyone wants is a divorce/new home besides we have no debts or mortgage but have low incomes.
I dont know of anyone who has legally separated and although we hardly see each other..separate sleeping,watching tv in different rooms working opposite hours and days for many yrs we share the chores and did share child care.
i just wonder what making it official would mean to us and if it is practical.
Thank you in advance.

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SundaeGirl · 07/11/2014 21:46

Yes, I'm pretty sure it is in Scotland. Not sure elsewhere. You have to make sure you get the 'relevant date' of separation sorted. That's the critical thing, I think.

whatisforteamum · 07/11/2014 22:20

Hi sundaegirl i meant from an emotional point of view or or would it be just like pressing the self destruct button and staying married and just not holding out for change would be easier or more do_able.

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SolidGoldBrass · 07/11/2014 22:25

It depends. If both of you are content to separate but agree that now is not a good time for one of you to move out then it might be OK. If one partner is abusive, or has begun a new relationship which has ended the existing one, then it might be more awkward.

What do you want from a separation, in your specific circumstances? Is it that one or both of you wants to find a new partner; do you hate each other, would it be a matter of counting the days till one of you moves out? If it's just that you don't feel any romantic or sexual connection with each other but are content to share parenting and pool your resources, is it just a matter of having separate bedrooms and otherwise getting on with family life?

whatisforteamum · 07/11/2014 22:39

No one has a new person or the time or energy tbh but it seems apparent DH wants to only pursue his own life without thought to me.Even our eldest said why dont you split up.I thought you lived your own lives already.Sometimes when others ask where we go etc i feel it hard to justify that we dont do things together( although i guess i am not the type to justify myself).I cant help feeling i we are living in limbo and a trial separation would be the 1st step to another life for both of us as i think dh who has had a heart attack would like his own life but is too traditional and set in his ways to suggest divorce although he makes no effort anymore.

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whatisforteamum · 08/11/2014 10:14

Has anyone done this ?

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