Im not posting for me, but my best friend. To be honest, I have no idea what advice to give her and we both wanted to get some objective opinions.
Background is BF and her DP have been together 3 years. They plan to move in together in the new year. She has a DS who is 5 and he has two teenage DD from previous marriages. He is early 40s, she is late 30s.
The first two years of their relationship were on/off but the last year has been stable. They've never been brilliant communicators and carry out most of their discussions/arguments via text. They've only ever skimmed over the more children issue.
She has fallen pregnant. Total accident. She thought that although he would probably not be instantly overjoyed he would probably be quite accepting of it. But he's not. He has categorically told her he doesn't want any more children. He hasn't said he would stand by her if she chose to keep it.
She thinks she wants more children. If he was happy, she would keep this baby no questions asked. She is worried this is her past chance. She is a bit shocked by his reaction. He hasn't had a vasectomy or ever made his feelings on the matter clear. She thinks it would be "selfish" of her to continue the pregnancy knowing he doesn't want it.
I keep saying she is not being selfish. But I'm not doing a great job explaining why, apart from repeating inane things about it being different for her because it's her body. She says there is not difference between her wanting it and him not wanting it.
She really doesn't know what to do. I am feeling like my advice is useless. I feel like his reaction
To her is utterly selfish and uncaring. He is more bothered about himself then her but she is more worried about him too.
Any advice, food for thought, experiences? I'm not really sure what the exact question is