Staying out of duty and loyalty- how did you eventually leave?

[Blackbamboo]

Just wondering..
if you left someone who adored and would be devastated by a split, but you but who you knew deep down wasn't right for you.
How did you wrestle with your conscience of causing so much pain to them and your children ( even if they were adults) when staying would have been bearable and even comfortable, but not what you really wanted?

I was in a similar situation. I thought I would be wracked with guilt. In fact, almost the moment I ended it, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and I just felt lightness, relief, and my happiness returned.

I hope it goes the same for you.

There is no sense forcing yourself to stay in a relationship that is not working for you: you are not doing the other person a kindness, and you are definitely doing yourself a violence.

In exactly the same situation as you blackbamboo. And agree with goats.

The hurt I will cause is immense.... but I can't live a lie anymore. My daughters are in their teens which makes the decision harder, as they have so much going on their lives, but I can't be miserable anymore, and let them witness me snapping at their dad 7 days a week - it's not fair on anyone.

I would imagine it will be easier to make a decision if your children are adults..... follow your heart, live honestly, and do what feels right :)

Hear hear.

Evening all. Me too. How did you do it Goats and how will you do it hibernator?

"This relationship isn't working for me"

essentially.
Then NC as he got quite manipulative and clingy.