The more things change, the more they stay the same

[stitch10yearson]

'd'h rewriting history.

I first came on here back in 2004 and so much has changed, yet so much is still the same, just so much worse. mn has changed, the world around me has changed yet the crap i get from him is still the same. I am a different person, but the crap is still all the same. I know I can't change him. but why doesn't he change himself?

Does he feel a need to or want to?

he thinks its all my fault and i am to blame for everything. He likes being the victim in his head and refuses to try anything to make life better.

tbh, i think i started this thread because i am missing the companionship mn used to give me before fb came along, and all the other stuff.. nostalgia. Thank you for replying

You can only change yourself. Why do you put up with it?

So what are you going to do about it?

i have changed so much. perhaps its the wine causing the nostalgia.
aplogies

I have my own thread but this resonates so much with me. I think he things he's truly not done anything wrong so why should he change. That's what I've been told anyway.

You've 2 choices, make a change yourself or accept things will never change.

Joy, I have made so many changes. Please accept this.
Pacific, :(

I am in a much much much better place than I was 10 years ago. But there is no magic wand, and the problems are still there. I just handle them better now.

What problems? What is your dp doing that upsets you

Why are you still with him if your life has been crap for so long and he's the problem?

"Why are you still with him if your life has been crap for so long and he's the problem?"

because sometimes leaving is a really hard and difficult thing to do?
Because maybe there are children involved?
Maybe she will lose her home?

Have some compassion instead of telling her it's her fault for staying.

Asking why someone stays can be a way to help. It isn't necessarily criticism.
If the person does want to stay, fine.
If there are other practical reasons, but the person wants out, then perhaps we can help get away. Sometimes we think we are stuck, but there are ways out.