How would you feel about this?
I am resenting the amount of time DH devotes to himself but need some perspective. To give you some background, the last few years have been a bit stormy since the kids left home and I've seriously thought about leaving for many reasons. DH is adamant he doesn't want this and I believe him. However he seems unable to change his behaviour - he's a little OCD about things ( routines and unable to change behaviour) and on the Aspergers scale is not Aspie BUT he's pretty near the top of the 'normal range.
My grievances are that at home we have a huge backlog of things that need doing to the house including basics like sorting our paperwork and even him adding up his savings; he doesn't know how much he has ( just a rough guess) whereas all my savings are listed and sorted in a folder. I have told him many times that if he fell under a bus, I'd not know where half our money was as he has several accounts - the paperwork is here but not filed so it's clear.
Anyway- I digress.
At weekends because he wants to keep fit, he goes to the gym on a Sat and Sunday morning, has a wander round the town afterwards and a coffee and comes home about midday. Meanwhile I am usually changing beds and sorting things out at home.
He does say that if I want to do something he will forgo the gym.
My point is that this leaves us with hardly any time either as a couple, or to do things on the house. We have a backlog of decorating.
He doesn't seem organised enough to get to the gym after work, and he's also been away lately for 2 nights / 3 days every week with his job when he usually uses the gym at the hotel.
My resentment is that he seems unable to invest in our relationship- whether it's working on the house, managing his side of the paperwork or taking any responsibility for food. We agreed that he'd cook ( and shop for) one meal at a weekend and this doesn't happen. He asks me 'what are we going to have?' rather than buying something and cooking it.
Any ideas?